Intern on phone: I'm milking this teabag for all it's worth.
Chicago, Illinois
Intern on phone: I'm milking this teabag for all it's worth.
Chicago, Illinois
Manager: Yes, he's alive because he ate monkey shit.
Granby Street
Norfolk, Virginia
Elderly customer to account rep/receptionist: You are my favorite call girl.
Bourbonnais, Illinois
Coworker eating twig cereal: I have eaten so much fiber today, when I get home, I’m gonna crap a wicker basket.
Rochester, New York
Employee to group of new hires waiting for orientation: Oh, good, it’s almost time for them to pretend like they care about you!
Woodruff Road
Greenville, South Carolina
Overheard by: Fast, Fun, and Friendly
Coworker, eating lunch: Ew, this yogurt tastes like sweaters!
Melbourne, Florida
Agent #1: Dude, I haven't talked to you in forever.
Agent #2: Man, you get weirded out all the time.
Agent #1: Me!? I never get weirded out, man.
Agent #2: What about that time I touched your ear?
Agent #1: Yeah, that was weird.
Ontario
Canadia
Worker: *Liam was great, I didn’t want any fucking sympathy and he just got on it with it. I hated my fucking father anyway.
Co-worker: Good.
Worker: I mean I only went to his fucking funeral to make sure the cunt was dead… And to spit on his grave. You know? But *Alan got two and a half days for his fucking mother in law.
Co-worker: Yeah?
Worker: Yeah. I mean I hated the bastard but I still get my three days right?
Co-worker: Right.
DWP
Bathgate
Scotland
Coworker to boss: I think I found someone. She is the president of the mortuary science club, she has a ton of experience.
Boss: Perfect.
Manhattan, New York
Boss: Well, they apparently thought the gnome was a good idea, so why not go with a troll?
Mesa, Arizona
Overheard by: David
