Subscriptions coordinator: We are hundreds of renewal letters behind–how am I supposed to send all of these out?
Zealous, oblivious manager: We'll get the whole department to help stuff envelopes. We can all be bent over a barrel at a stuffing orgy together! It will be an orgy of stuffing!
East Lansing, Michigan
Overheard by: Louise
Tech on intercom: Who stole Frank's sword?
Coworker down the hall: Frank's sword is covered in latex!
St. Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: Vinana
Boss: He's really similar to my step dad–he had dark hair, and a long corso.
Girl: I'm sorry, a long *what*?
Boss, slowly: A long…corso?
Girl: Torso. Corset.
Boss: Hmm.
San Jose, California
Overheard by: Smarter than her boss (obviously)
Grad student: So I think that the manuscript should be organized differently…
(advisor's phone rings, he has a quick conversation in Arabic)
Advisor: Goddammit, sorry. I hate when my damn Arab relatives call, they always want me to set them up with prostitutes for their trips to the United States.
Grad student: Uh…
Advisor: Anyway, where is figure 3 going in your paper now?
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: LabCat
Supervisor, hanging up phone with crazy caller: She said Nancy Pelosi told her she could call in.
Secretary: Who's that?
Supervisor, stunned: The Speaker of the House?
Secretary: What house?
Supervisor: The one of ill-repute down on Marshall Street.
County Courthouse
Norristownm, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Lan
Distinguished foreign lecturer: We're not sure what these people were doing here or how long they stayed, but they made a lot of fire and left a lot of human remains.
NYU
New York City, New York
Overheard by: Claire H.
Cube monkey #1: You?re heading home already?
Haggard telecommuter that came into the office: Yup!
Cube monkey #1: Okay…um…drive safe!
Cube monkey #2: Don't whip the gerbil too hard!
Cube monkey #3: What? I thought he said he was going home?
Billerica, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Boter
Cashier: Hello, sir. What would you like?
Customer: What would I like? Hm…let me look inside myself and see what I desire.
Portland, Maine
Manager: Does anyone know anything about the new shift schedule?
Analyst: Karla tried to explain the new shift to me…then it got black…and I don't remember much…but then I woke up sucking my thumb and calling for my mom.
Redmond, Washington
Overheard by: Amy
