Only in Nebraska Can Vanilla Extract Get You Laid

Lab tech #1: They're only 35 calories.
Lab tech #2: My fingers.
Lab tech #1: Yeah, but they smell yummy.

Omaha, Nebraska

Posted on December 21, 2014
Diet & Weight, Meals and Snacks, Nebraska, Sensory Experiences, Tech People, Weirdness

Did You Wear Eye Protection, Nigel?

Manager to another: I just took Tom*'s load.

Target
Australia

Posted on December 17, 2014
Admins, Australia, Sensory Experiences, Sexuality, Weirdness

Best. Slot Machine. Ever.

Web developer boss: Aww, I didn't get a dildo this time. That's sad.

Mesa, Arizona

Posted on December 17, 2014
Arizona, Bosses, Feelings, Sexuality, Tech People, Weirdness

Because That Would Be Awesome

Marketing girl: I also want to know why my salad tastes like bacon.
CSR: Maybe bacon bits are in it?
Marketing girl: Nope, I made it myself… My croutons taste like bacon.
CSR: Is that a come-on?

Waltham, Massachusetts

Posted on December 14, 2014
Compare and contrast, Customer Service, Employees, Massachusetts, Meals and Snacks, Weirdness

Are You As Turned on As I Am?

Boss to client worried about the stock market: I ride it up, I ride it down, I pull it out, it goes up, now I'm chasing its tail.

Bethesda, Maryland

Overheard by: A little disgusted

Posted on December 14, 2014
Bosses, Customers, Maryland, Money, Weirdness

Why All Gelatin Is Male.

Cubicle girl #1: Damn! No toilet paper!
Cubicle girl #2, hesistantly: No. None in here, either.
Cubicle girl #1: Argh, I'll just have to wiggle. (pause) I hate wiggling! (pause) Only boys should have to wiggle.

Girls' Toilets
England

Overheard by: Disturbed Toilet User