He Prefers to Be Called Richard

Guy: I am full.
Girl: Full of what?
Guy: Full of Dick’s.

539 Queen Anne Avenue North
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Nick D

Posted on July 9, 2015
Coworkers, Possible Sexual Harassment, Washington

He Can Crochet with Only His Tongue

Coworker to another, attempting to fix jam in the copier: I swear, Ed, you get more done with your mouth than you do your hands!

Seattle, Washington

Posted on July 8, 2015
Body Parts, Coworkers, Sexuality, Washington, Weirdness

Lottery Board: Eeexcellent!

Customer: These ice cream cones and a hundred dollars in lotto tickets.
Store clerk: Okay, $106.39
Customer: What? These ice creams cost six dollars?! What a waste of money! No, I dont want them. What a waste. Seriously! No, no — just the lotto tickets.

Eastlake Mart
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: kallisti

Posted on July 3, 2015
Dumb Customers, Employees, General Idiocy, Gripes, Meals and Snacks, Money, Washington

Though If You Were Just Taller, at Least Your Face Would Be Further Away

Receptionist: Oh, excuse me!
Accountant: It's alright.
Receptionist: Hahaha… do you want to dance?
Accountant: Maybe if you were taller… and better looking.

112th Street
Seattle, Washington

Posted on July 1, 2015
Compare and contrast, Default, Financial Folk, Insults, Offers and requests, Physical Appearance, Receptionists, Washington

Try the Anisette Liqueur

Boy to mother: There isn’t any licorice here!

Liquor Store, 1322 West 3rd Avenue
Spokane, Washington

Overheard by: Eric

Posted on July 1, 2015
Kids, Meals and Snacks, Washington

God, I Love Doing That to Her

Manager: So, we should totally take a consensuous on that with the entire team.
Employee: Consensus.
Manager: What?
Employee: Consensus.
Manager, laughing: I should totally carry around a thesaurius with me! [Employee walks away.]

Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: BeeMonstre