Virginia

Boss storming through office: Fuck those idiots! They couldn’t sell pussy to a troop train!
New girl: What about a train? [Long pause] And did he just say ‘pussy’?

Norfolk, Virginia

Overheard by: On the laugh train…

Division chief: Why are you wearing a visitor pass? What happened to your badge?
Editor: Hey, fuck you, I brought in donuts!
Division chief: How dare you talk to me like that…Is that a Boston Cream?

Pentagon, 48 North Rotary Road
Arlington, Virginia

Worker bee #1: They used to line us up in the middle of the school, make us drop our pants, and paddle us.
Worker bee #2: You can’t do that these days because too many people would like it.

Richmond, Virginia

Overheard by: usual suspect

Attorney on phone: What does it smell like?

Tysons Corner, Virginia

Sales: My ex-wife's ex-husband is an asshole.

Charlottesville, Virginia

Lawyer: I didn't ask for it, I didn't seek it out. All I know is that someone had their hand on my penis.

Chesapeake, Virginia

Coworker #1: Everybody, breathe in!
Everyone, after breathing in: Why?
Coworker #1: I just farted!

Virginia

Overheard by: I wish I had not listened

Office girl: I mean, he doesn't even know me. For all he knows, I could be a crazy bitch. I could ruin his life!

Winchester, Virginia

Boss: This subcontractor really chaps my butt.
Senior VP: Is it a good butt chapping or a bad chapping?
Boss: Bad.
Senior VP: Glad to know there’s a differnce.

812 Moorefield Park
Richmond, Virginia

Admin to big boss: I like it when someone gives me work and I can finish it immediately and get it right back to them. I'm a wham-bam-thank-you-mam kind of girl.

Arlington, Virginia

Overheard by: Not suprised to hear it