Boss: This subcontractor really chaps my butt.
Senior VP: Is it a good butt chapping or a bad chapping?
Boss: Bad.
Senior VP: Glad to know there’s a differnce.
812 Moorefield Park
Richmond, Virginia
Boss: This subcontractor really chaps my butt.
Senior VP: Is it a good butt chapping or a bad chapping?
Boss: Bad.
Senior VP: Glad to know there’s a differnce.
812 Moorefield Park
Richmond, Virginia
Admin to big boss: I like it when someone gives me work and I can finish it immediately and get it right back to them. I'm a wham-bam-thank-you-mam kind of girl.
Arlington, Virginia
Overheard by: Not suprised to hear it
Peon #1: Of course, he described it as riding a tiger.
Peon #2: Who rides a tiger?
Richmond, Virginia
Biller: Um, you know maintenance guys are working in our bathrooms and there is a line of people waiting in the hallway bathroom? Could you, like, do something about it?
Receptionist: Uh, sure, I’ll get right on that for you.
Biller: I’ll just go back to my desk and pee in my trash can.
1200 Princess Anne Street
Fredericksburg, Virginia
Guy in stall, answering cell: Wassup? (pause) Taking a crap. (pause) No. In the bathroom.
Herndon, Virginia
Grad student #1: Do you at least remember going out onto the porch last night?
Grad student #2: Was I naked?
Grad student #1: Yes. Well, you had a blanket to cover your…dignity. But I think you lost your dignity some hours before.
Arlington, Virginia
Employee: “Isolate”? Why’s there an E on the end?
Supervisor: …
Employee: Oh. Just kidding!
Supervisor: Seriously?
Employee: It looked weird.
Supervisor: So when you go to the coffee shop, do you order a “late”?
Employee: No, I order a latt. Two Ts.
500 Dulany Street
Alexandria, Virginia
Female cube rat, reviewing document: This text is pixelated.
Male cube rat: What is that? (reads over her shoulder.) “Senior oral presentation”? (snickers) I don't think I want to know about that.
Female cube rat: Really, Jim? This early in the morning?
Chesapeake, Virginia
Overheard by: Haven't had enough coffee yet
Peon #1: I bought my son a small hamster when he was about seven or eight. We didn't know it at the time, but the hamster was pregnant with a litter of nine. After she had given birth to her pups, we noticed that she started biting their little heads off. My son was very upset because of this, and so was I. I looked it up online and I ended up reading somewhere that hamster moms don't behead their young after their eyes have opened, and we had one hamster left, and its eyes had opened. We figured everything would be fine, but when I came home from work the next day we saw that she killed that one as well. My son was bawling his eyes out that evening.
Peon #2: That's terrible. What ended up happening?
Peon #1: I put her in a coffee canister and took her out to the woods… and I threw her in a snake pit. I'm not sure if she made it out.
Hampton, Virginia
Sales to admin: Size doesn't matter. I've got a video you should watch. It'll teach you step by step how to do it right. It'll be great for both parties. She'll be begging for it.
Herndon, Virginia
Overheard by: Nate
