Doctor: So, you aren't eating or drinking water during the day for a whole month?
Muslim med student: Yep, but it's not so bad, it gives us time to reflect and pray.
Doctor: Wow, well, thanks for telling me about Ramadan. Now let's figure out our schedule for the day. Have you eaten lunch yet?
Medical Center
Richmond, Virginia
Boss, talking about client: It’s a love-hate relationship. They either love or hate us. We just hate them.
Herndon, Virginia
Worker #1: It's cold out.
Worker #2: Yeah, it's like having half a cup of coffee thrown in your face…but cold.
Worker #1: That's the worst analogy ever.
14th Street
Arlington, Virginia
Worried coworker: Don't ask me how, but I royally pissed off Steve.
Other coworker: Any idea how? Did you insult his awesome hair?
Worried coworker: I told him he should read his e-mails.
Other coworker: He'll get over it, you should complement his awesome hair.
Alexandria, Virginia
VP: Has anyone seen my teabags?
Receptionist: Where did you last put them?
VP: On the kitchen counter.
Receptionist: You put your teabags on the counter? Did anyone see you?
VP: No, no one else was there.
Receptionist: Are they jumbo-sized teabags?
VP: No, they're regular size, and I've looked everywhere!
Vienna, Virginia
Overheard by: Office drone
Receptionist: Do you have any extra wireless cords?
2777 Crystal Drive
Arlington, Virginia
Boss: I don’t get it. Why are these entries all wrong?
Data entry grunt: Look at the user report. Out of 75 users, 67 of them are entering the data incorrectly. We need to get those 67 in a training session so we’re all on the same page.
Boss: I’m not sure how — I’ve never had to do this before.
Data entry grunt: Right… Can we just take a moment here so you can explain to me why you’re the manager but I’m the one that does the managing?
K-V Road
Victoria, Virginia
Boss storming through office: Fuck those idiots! They couldn’t sell pussy to a troop train!
New girl: What about a train? [Long pause] And did he just say ‘pussy’?
Norfolk, Virginia
Overheard by: On the laugh train…
Division chief: Why are you wearing a visitor pass? What happened to your badge?
Editor: Hey, fuck you, I brought in donuts!
Division chief: How dare you talk to me like that…Is that a Boston Cream?
Pentagon, 48 North Rotary Road
Arlington, Virginia
Worker bee #1: They used to line us up in the middle of the school, make us drop our pants, and paddle us.
Worker bee #2: You can’t do that these days because too many people would like it.
Richmond, Virginia
Overheard by: usual suspect
