Time Management

Loan officer: My husband’s parents were married for 50 years.
Receptionist: What’s the secret of being married that long?
Collector: Alcohol.

802 South Westnedge Avenue
Kalamazoo, Michigan

Overheard by: just passing by

Boss: I need you to bust out that postcard ASAP! It’s priority number six!
Designer: Um, does it have to be done now or do five other things have to be done first?
Boss: Six is the new one!
Designer: I didn’t get that memo.

15335 Morrison Street
Sherman Oaks, California

New mom: The days go by so fast now that I’m so preoccupied with… pumping.

Hudson St
New York City, New York

Overheard by: Harriet Vane

Writer to editor: I was having a staring contest with you a little while ago, but you weren’t paying attention so I won.

Broad Street
Augusta, Georgia

Producer: Rarely does a day go by where my underwear is less than 10 years old.

11 Penn Plaza
New York, NY

Overheard by: D to the C

Coworker #1: Did you work here in 1993?
Coworker #2: ‘Here’ in what sense?

1110 West Washington Street
Phoenix, Arizona

Overheard by: next cube over

Worker #1: I have to leave in like two hours.
Worker #2: I just got here…
Worker #1 & #2: Ha, ha!
Worker #1: Isn’t that what flex-time means, anyway?

4 Columbus Circle
New York, NY

Overheard by: cindy

Guy: I always thought we would go out Thelma and Louise style when we were both in our 90’s.
Girl: That sounds about right.
Guy: I’m going to move that up about 60 years if this meeting doesn’t end soon.

32 Washington Street
Indianapolis, Indiana

Overheard by: I agree

Office manager: I’m going to Google time travel!

Winnipeg, Manitoba
Canadia

Overheard by: The Office Bitch

Upper manager: Thomas* should be in, so maybe you'll be able to take a bathroom break before then.
Middle manager: Gosh, how generous of you!
Upper manager: Hey, I care about our employees (three seconds pause) and the floors in our stands.

Hershey, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: GottaGo