Surely He Means The Da Vinci

Marketing exec: If we didn’t have to spend so much time telling you our requirements, you could be done with the code already!

228 East 86th Street
New York, NY

Posted on July 8, 2014
Dumb Bosses, Executives, General Idiocy, Gripes, New York, Technology

Only If You’re A Cosby

Tester: Maybe LA can also help test sound for me.
Co-worker: …and update my test suites…and knit me sweaters.
Tester: Now that’s not exactly company related.
Co-worker: Sweaters are great company.

209 Redwood Shores Parkway
Redwood City, California

Posted on July 7, 2014
California, General Idiocy, Tech People, Technology

I Try Never to Talk to Her

Help desk manager: Hey, do you have that power supply for a Mac mini?
Microsoft exchange admin: What's a mini?
Hardware tech: You should ask your wife.
Help desk phone tech: Heyo!

Los Angeles, California

Posted on August 11, 2011
Body Parts, California, Family, Questions, Tech People, Technology

The Rwandan Civil War Comes to New Jersey

Coworker #1: We need printing guidelines for clients.
Coworker #2: I don't care what they print on: Mylar, Duratran, paper-machete…

Kenilworth, New Jersey

Overheard by: Scared Employee

Posted on June 29, 2011
Coworkers, New Jersey, Office Politics, Technology, Weirdness

Why Would a Dog-Grooming Machine Have a Purée Cycle, Though

Engineer coworker on phone: I've got this article. You should read it. It's a patent. We could do this!

Wisconsin

Posted on June 24, 2011
Advice, Engineers, Money, On the phone, Technology, Wisconsin

To Be Fair, What Wouldn't an IT Guy Tap?

IT guy: And you can help with setting up the sites, too.
Super-cute admin assistant: Okay.
Office manager, walking in: What's going on?
IT guy: I was just telling her that she could help me out this year if she wanted to.
Office manager: Oh yeah, she's an untapped resource.
IT guy, after pause: I'd tap that.

Castle Rock, Colorado

Posted on June 22, 2011
Admins, Colorado, Offers and requests, Possible Sexual Harassment, Tech People, Technology

Next: Toilet Paper, Over or Under?

VP, strolling into cube farm: Toasters or toaster ovens?
Staffer #1: Toasters.
Staffer #2: Toasters.
Staffer #3: Toaster ovens!
VP: Toasters, right? We already have a toaster oven.
Staffer #4: Definitely toasters.
Staffer #3: No, toaster ovens!
VP: Wait, I want to hear Alice*'s perspective here.
Staffer #3: Toaster ovens do more and they break less often!
Several other staffers: But toasters are faster!
Staffer #5: Boo!
Staffer #3: Never mind, I withdraw my comments. I'm being booed.
VP: Careful, or you'll get voted off the island!

Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: Rose Fox