Tech: Is it working?
Co-worker #1: No, I’m only partially lit.
Co-worker #2: How many people does it take to get you fully lit?
Co-worker #3: 4. 2 to watch and 2 to do the lighting.
600 Peachtree Street NE
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: new jersey boy
Co-worker: I just walked past the copy and fax machine area, and all the hair on my arms stood straight up like a science fiction movie!
640 5th Avenue
New York, NY
Chief of Plant Operations: We need to disconnect and then reconnect the cash registers from the parking booths. This is high priority.
IT: Huh? Why not just leave it connected?
700 State Drive
Los Angeles, California
Ditzy CSR: I totally rocked Guitar Hero last night! I played the best song!
Innocent cube mate: Oh yeah? What song?
Ditzy CSR: You know, umm… That Aerosmith song, “Livin' on a Prayer”?
Only guy in the department: Dude! We live in New Jersey. That's Bon Jovi… I should just end my life now.
Bridgewater, New Jersey
Tech on phone in next cube: How can I help you? … Uh huh. Well like it said in the doc, you have to name the files alphabetically for that to work. … Alphabetically means from A to Z. … No, sir, you can’t name one file code_abc and the next one code_aba, a is before c… Yes, abz would work. … Numbers come before letters. … You’re welcome. [hangs up phone] Fuck this shit, I can’t even smoke it. I’m going home!
800 S Canal Street
Chicago, Illinois
Tech guy: The mouse won’t work if it’s off.
Coworker: You said reboot! I thought that meant to turn the computer off. I don’t understand computers.
Midtown
New York, New York
IT: Email seems to be working fine. I did a few tests and it’s delivering viruses in an almost real-time fashion.
1201 18th Street
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: Adam G
Manager: Hey there… What are you doin?
Support: Just some really ugly updates to [client]’s website
Manager: Ahh, who cares as long as it’s billable.
Support pauses. . .
Manager: It is billable, right?
8840 Commons Boulevard
Twinsburg, Ohio
Tech guy on phone: If it’s fixed, it’s not working.
South Brunswick, New Jersey
QA: That enhancement doesn’t work, you need to fix it.
Dev: I guess it won’t be in the patch, then.
QA: I didn’t spend all that time testing and documenting it, we need to release it.
Dev: I’m not going to fix it now.
QA: You just said it was going to be in the patch, now you are saying it’s not going to be fixed in this patch but it is in the patch.
Dev: Your Jedi mind tricks will not work on me.
16388 Westwoods Business Park
Ellisville, Missouri
Overheard by: Marc Brooks
