Security guard in lobby: Ma'am, you need to take the baby out of the pumpkin seat before you put the pumpkin seat through the x-ray machine.
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Girl Friday
Security guard in lobby: Ma'am, you need to take the baby out of the pumpkin seat before you put the pumpkin seat through the x-ray machine.
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Girl Friday
Office admin: They say they don't have the files in a higher resolution.
Female boss: Ugh! These stations are such losers!
National Public Broadcasting Org
Washington, DC
Client: May I ask you a question?
Patent Agent: Uh, sure.
Client: I’d like your opinion on my [douche] invention as an engineer and as a woman.
508 Riverbend Drive
Kitchener, Ontario
Canadia
Warehouse manager: Anyone seen Joe*?
Office manager: I don’t know where he is. He sent me an email at 2:03, so he’s at a computer somewhere.
Sales guy: I haven’t seen him in a while.
Office manager: I bet he went home and he’s sending these emails from the web-mail!
Assistant: No, I went out to the warehouse not long ago and passed him on my way out there. He didn’t look very happy though.
Sales guy: Why don’t you bake him a birthday cake?
Assistant: But it’s not his birthday!
Sales guy: It doesn’t matter. Birthday cakes make everyone feel better.
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Tech #1: There. Translations are done. All nine languages.
Tech #2: That was fast. I didn’t even know you spoke Arabic much less any of the others.
Tech #1: It’s easy — just highlight the text and change the font.
Tech #2: What?!
Tech #1: Yeah. We should hear back from the Army in a day or so. I went ahead and sent the new files off.
Tech #2: [Huge sigh.]
2000 Peachtree Industrial Boulevard
Atlanta, Georgia
Girl behind counter: So we open the oyster up, and inside we will find a pearl.
Middle aged American tourist: Wow, that is amazing! Does this hurt them?
Girl: Yes, this kills them.
Tourist: What! Can't you restart their brains or something?
Japanese Department Store, EPCOT Centre
Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: mark shale
Guy in next cubicle on phone: Speak up! I can’t hear you because of the solar flares.
1500 West County Road
Roseville, Minnesota
Overheard by: I can’t believe I work here
IT: If we’re going to upgrade, what would be the difference between versions 7.1 and 6.5?
Manager: .6
5301 Bolsa Avenue
Huntington Beach, California
Overheard by: Adam Westrich
Office girl #1: Is there a shortcut to delete something in excel?
Office girl #2: Just hit delete.
Office girl #1: Yeah but you know how Control-c is copy and Control-v is paste.
Office girl #2: Well there is an actual delete button.
Office girl #1: No, I know -I am just trying to save time.
Office girl #2: Well hitting two buttons is not going to be quicker than hitting one.
Office girl #1: I know -but it’s a shortcut, you know?
Office girl #2: Google it.
Corporate Pointe
Culver City, California
Overheard by: Lyn
Co-worker: Can you e-mail a hard copy of that file to me?
1420 5th Avenue
Seattle, Washington
