Teacher: Am I going to have a job here next school year?
Principal: Only if you want to work at a school where you’re not welcome.
419 East 66th Street
New York, NY
Teacher: Am I going to have a job here next school year?
Principal: Only if you want to work at a school where you’re not welcome.
419 East 66th Street
New York, NY
Trainer: What does the prefix “ante” mean?
Student: Against
Trainer: No, this is spelled a-n-t-e. It means before.
Student: Yeah, like antefreeze0
Trainer: Huh?
Student: You know, you have to put it in the car before it freezes.
120 Broadway
New York, NY
Teacher: There are a lot of hipsters there, but they’re older.
Teaching coordinator: Oh, let’s be honest. Those aren’t hipsters.
They’re hobos.
Royce Hall
University of California, Los Angeles
Los Angeles, CA
Teacher: Just pretend it's Russian and nail it.
Bowling Green, Ohio
Vice principal at Catholic high school: I'm really into sausage.
Aurora, Illinois
Professor: So for Friday, you need me to get a big box.
University of British Columbia
Canadia
Anthropology teacher: Yes, and when you see human remains… Actually, I have some bones in my car…
(class in stunned silence)
Student #1: Really?
Anthropology teacher: Oh, I always have bones in my car… I think I have some baby bones, too.
Student #1: I hope you never get pulled over.
Student #2: They'll think you're a serial killer!
Anthropology teacher: Well, I love dead bodies! I'll exhume you, I'll exhume him, I'll exhume your grandmother! I'll exhume anyone! (pause) Let me go get them.
Las Vegas, Nevada
Overheard by: He really is adorable, not creepy.
Male teacher: This is retarded.
Female special ed teacher: Did you actually say “retarded”?
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: Fellow Teacher
Female teacher: You squashed my banana!
Male teacher: Here, just have my banana.
Female teacher: I don't want your banana.
Male teacher: Look, just eat my banana.
Female teacher: No!
(male teacher walks away in disgust)
Female teacher, shouting after him: I only like lady fingers!
Barwon Heads
Australia
