Student, while messing with professor's computer: How do you get your thing up?
Professor: What?
Mercer County Community College
West Windsor, New Jersey
Student, while messing with professor's computer: How do you get your thing up?
Professor: What?
Mercer County Community College
West Windsor, New Jersey
Professor: People never say half the things they are supposed to have said. I mean, just ask Jesus — ‘It wasn’t me, it was my flippin’ disciples.’
Queens University
Kingston, Ontario
Canadia
Principal: I don’t want the upgrade if it means I have to learn something new. I don’t ever want to have to learn anything new.
1123 Broadway
New York, NY
Teacher: Am I going to have a job here next school year?
Principal: Only if you want to work at a school where you’re not welcome.
419 East 66th Street
New York, NY
Trainer: What does the prefix “ante” mean?
Student: Against
Trainer: No, this is spelled a-n-t-e. It means before.
Student: Yeah, like antefreeze0
Trainer: Huh?
Student: You know, you have to put it in the car before it freezes.
120 Broadway
New York, NY
Teacher: There are a lot of hipsters there, but they’re older.
Teaching coordinator: Oh, let’s be honest. Those aren’t hipsters.
They’re hobos.
Royce Hall
University of California, Los Angeles
Los Angeles, CA
Teacher: Just pretend it's Russian and nail it.
Bowling Green, Ohio
Vice principal at Catholic high school: I'm really into sausage.
Aurora, Illinois
Professor: So for Friday, you need me to get a big box.
University of British Columbia
Canadia
