Down Syndrome, My Ass. Get Out There and Work That Backhand!

Tennis instructor to day-campers: You were special last year. You are not special anymore. If you still suck this year, leave these courts.

Birchwood Swim & Tennis Club
Chappaqua, New York

Overheard by: rachel kieffer

Posted on April 26, 2015
Advice, Education, Gripes, Insults, New York, Teachers, Threats

Now, for Your Homework, Copy Page 49 of the Textbook

Biology professor: You can’t just come up with your own hypotheses!

3400 North Charles Street
Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: LabCat

Posted on April 26, 2015
General Idiocy, Gripes, Maryland, Teachers

Socialism Was Fleeting but the Bud Light Dog Is Forever

Teacher: Does anyone know what Sputnik was?
Student: That’s, like, a dog, right?

High school
Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Kong

Posted on April 12, 2015
General Idiocy, Pennsylvania, Students, Teachers

All That Is Covered in the Illustrated Syllabus

Teacher: Okay, so now that you know the basic rules of the computer lab, I have to ask you one more question… Do any of you ever check out the NMBLA website? [Silence.] Well I do, frequently. I want to know who the enemy is. Also, I like to look at the new Russian brides on Fridays.

Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Cupcake1

Posted on April 11, 2015
General Idiocy, Massachusetts, Questions, Teachers, Technology, The Classroom

They're the Wind Beneath My Woodwind

Professor: I like nuns. Nuns taught me to the play the clarinet. So I love nuns!

Suffolk County Community College, New York

Overheard by: Rachel

Posted on April 3, 2015
Education, Feelings, Music, New York, Religion, Teachers

… Instead of Just the FBI and Major League Baseball

Professor: Someone hacked into the university’s website, and now the Russian mafia has all of your information.

University of Arizona
Tucson, Arizona

Overheard by: Colleen

Posted on April 2, 2015
Arizona, Teachers, Threats

And a New Flogger

Older, proper female professor #1, giggling: Well, I guess after that I should probably just invest in a new turkey baster.
Older, proper female professor #2: I should say so, my dear.

Swarthmore, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: This place is killing me…

Posted on March 28, 2015
Health & Hygiene, Pennsylvania, Sexuality, Teachers

That Mathy Stuff Frightens Me

Professor: Well, then I saw that there were equations involved, so I freaked out.

3400 North Charles Street
Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: LabCat

Posted on March 28, 2015
Gripes, Maryland, Teachers

At Least There's No Chance She'll Reproduce

Female high school student walking into guidance counselor's office with a group of friends: Oh, right! You're who we come to talk to about sex.
Guidance counselor: Ahh, yes…
Female student: Well, I don't need to talk to you because I don't do that.
Guidance counselor: Do what?
Female student: You know…sex. I don't do it 'cause I'm syllabus.
Guidance counselor: Ummmm, right.

Roxbury, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Miss

Posted on March 27, 2015
Education, General Idiocy, Massachusetts, Sexuality, Students, Teachers, Words

By the Three Year Mark I’ve Forgotten Everything but Hair Color

Poli-Sci professor: How was I supposed to remember her name? I had only lost my virginity to her five years earlier!

College
Wooster, Ohio

Posted on March 19, 2015
Gossip, Ohio, Teachers

Teachers