Teacher running in, glancing around wildly: Anyone got a lighter?
Preschool
Denver, Colorado
Teacher running in, glancing around wildly: Anyone got a lighter?
Preschool
Denver, Colorado
Trainer: In America, when our kids don’t finish their meals we tell them that there are starving kids in Africa. What do you tell them?
Clients from Kenya: [Silence]
Cafeteria, Hazina Towers, 258 Monrovia Street
Nairobi, Kenya
Post-doc: I see… You condition the mouse to know that it gets a treat after you pick it up.
Professor: Exactly. ‘I know I’m happy when you touch me and give me food!’
3400 North Charles Street
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: LabCat
Teacher: Coffee is like steroids, you know.
1600 Maryhill Drive
Green Bay, Wisconsin
Teacher: Hugh*, why are you out in the hallway? You should be in the classroom.
Student: Well, I had skidmarks in my underpants so, you know, I was putting them away…
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: another teacher
Teacher: This is David from Israel. Do you have any questions for David?
Senior student: Yes. Do you have air conditioning in your tents?
High School
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: IsraeliTexan
Teacher: When he came in to register his kids here, he tried to use his arrest report as his proof of address. “Possession with intent to sell,” it said. I told him, “You can’t use that as your proof of address; you need a BGE or a water bill.”
2000 Cecil Avenue
Baltimore, Maryland
Philosophy professor: History is written by the winners. Losers are killed… But in philosophy, losers aren’t killed, they’re marginalized.
Athens, Ohio
Teacher discussing domain and range: Alright, here’s a good way to look at it. Okay, so think of the number four as a child. And two is its father, because two squared is four. But wait, couldn’t negative two squared also be four? That’s why you need to limit the domain to be ‘X is greater than zero.’
Girl student #1: So, the moral of the story is to keep your housewife away from the mailman?
Teacher: Uh…
Girl student #2: Oh my god! My mailman is so hot!
High school
Florida
Teacher on phone: But [Matt], it’s just the sound of a gun. The audience won’t even see it!…Not even the sound effect?…Are you kidding me?…So, what, we’re not allowed to do Hamlet now because somebody has to die in the end?…I know they don’t use real swords; we aren’t using a real gun!…How is anyone supposed to die?
2155 Napier Avenue
Macon, Georgia
