Teacher: Can you say, ‘Open the door’ in Spanish?
Preschooler: Open the door in Spanish.
Learning center
Bloomington, Indiana
Teacher: Can you say, ‘Open the door’ in Spanish?
Preschooler: Open the door in Spanish.
Learning center
Bloomington, Indiana
Tenured faculty guy: You know you really should start attending faculty meetings.
Non-tenured faculty guy: Why? I’m not allowed to vote on any departmental issues.
Tenured faculty guy: It would still be professionally instructive for you to attend.
Non-tenured faculty guy: But I’m already aware of the fact that this department is full of petulant egomaniacs.
Department of Mathematics
Chapel Hill, North Carolina
Student: Mrs. Smith*, do you have any kids?
Mrs. Smith: No, I don’t have children.
Student: Did somebody steal them?
1212 Cheyenne Boulevard
Birmingham, Alabama
Overheard by: Sheri
NYU Professor: Being a visiting professor has its good points: I don’t give a shit what I say!
19 University Place
New York, NY
Korean teacher: Do you have a boyfriend?
English teacher: No.
Korean teacher: Don’t you get lonely?
English teacher: Not really.
Korean teacher: Doesn’t your… body get lonely?
English teacher: Did you really just say that?
Korean teacher: I’m not sexually harassing you! My English just isn’t good!
Sacheon
South Korea
School social worker, to kindergartner on lap: So what happened right before you ran out of your classroom?
Kindergartner: I’m peeing.
Social worker: What do you mean, you’re peeing?
Kindergartner: I’m peeing.
Social worker: [jumps up, displaying huge wet spot on her pants]Kindergartner: I TOLD you I was peeing.
5130 Roxbury Road
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Fair warning given
Student walking into class late: The bad news is, I am late. The good news is that my intramural football team won the championship.
Professor: What is your team’s name?
Student: The Jack Bauers.
Professor: Is that the guy from 24? I can’t get into that show…
Student: Because you hate freedom?
Capital University Law School
Columbus, Ohio
Overheard by: captain awesome
Student: So how many participants will I need to use?
Acting Pro-Vice-Chancellor: So you could just use eight friends.
Student: Oh. Okay. Really?
Acting Pro-Vice-Chancellor: Do you have eight friends?
Otago University
New Zealand
Overheard by: he's my supervisor too…
Grad student presenter: … So we think that the protein might be diffusing.
Professor: Well, according to the dream I had last night, that couldn’t happen.
3400 North Charles Street
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: LabCat
Professor: Yes, the Chinese are very oriental.
Muncie, Indiana
Overheard by: She's teaching us?
