Student walking into class late: The bad news is, I am late. The good news is that my intramural football team won the championship.
Professor: What is your team’s name?
Student: The Jack Bauers.
Professor: Is that the guy from 24? I can’t get into that show…
Student: Because you hate freedom?
Capital University Law School
Columbus, Ohio
Overheard by: captain awesome
Student: So how many participants will I need to use?
Acting Pro-Vice-Chancellor: So you could just use eight friends.
Student: Oh. Okay. Really?
Acting Pro-Vice-Chancellor: Do you have eight friends?
Otago University
New Zealand
Overheard by: he's my supervisor too…
Doctor: So, you aren't eating or drinking water during the day for a whole month?
Muslim med student: Yep, but it's not so bad, it gives us time to reflect and pray.
Doctor: Wow, well, thanks for telling me about Ramadan. Now let's figure out our schedule for the day. Have you eaten lunch yet?
Medical Center
Richmond, Virginia
Student: Yeah, my name is Frank, but I go by Franco, only the ‘O’ isn’t an ‘O,’ it’s a sun glyph.
NIC, CDA
Idaho
Teacher: Hugh*, why are you out in the hallway? You should be in the classroom.
Student: Well, I had skidmarks in my underpants so, you know, I was putting them away…
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: another teacher
Teacher: This is David from Israel. Do you have any questions for David?
Senior student: Yes. Do you have air conditioning in your tents?
High School
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: IsraeliTexan
Mother to son: Don’t play with that stapler!
Passerby: Happy take your kid to work day.
One Easton Oval
Columbus, Ohio
Guy: Humans are the only mammals that rape face-to-face.
Girl #1: What about dolphins?
Girl #2: But sharks don’t. Sharks dance.
Guy: Sharks aren’t mammals.
Girl #2: Oh yeah, you said mammals. But penguins don’t.
Guy: Penguins aren’t mammals either.
Tucson, Arizona
Old lady, told class would run late: I have to get home and toss my husband’s salad!
Class erupts with laughter, and the boy next to her explains the innuendo.
Old lady: If I was going to lick his ass, I’d say so… But it isn’t something I’d do before dinner.
CCSN campus
Las Vegas, Nevada
College student: The top concern on my mind right now is the hurricane that hit Haiti.
Vermillion, South Dakota
