Division manager: I’ve played with it enough, it outta work by now.
Mechanicsville, Virginia
Overheard by: Alan
Division manager: I’ve played with it enough, it outta work by now.
Mechanicsville, Virginia
Overheard by: Alan
Peon: I wanted to show you this order. I think someone dropped the ball.
Sales associate: Let’s see whose order it is…Oh, it’s Ryan’s*. And he’s out this week.
Peon: Uh-oh.
Sales associate: See what happens when you go on vacation? Your balls get dropped!
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Techie guy #1: You know how my friends Jason and Mike rode their bikes to Mexico and then to Costa Rica to play poker?
Techie guy #2: Yeah.
Techie guy #1: Well, Mike’s living with this girl he met in Mexico.
Techie guy #2: Is that safe?
11000 Regency Parkway
Cary, North Carolina
Coworker: It’s easy to determine who needs to take a sexual harassment class; just ask the person if “harass” is one word or two. If they say two, they need to take the class.
1200 Sovereign Row
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Overheard by: Not the guy who needs the class
Coworker #1: Hey, can you cover my shift next week?
Coworker #2: Why? Where are you going?
Coworker #1: My friend’s boyfriend is graduating from pharmacology school.
Coworker #2: Ew. Who would want to be a farmer?
3900 Hillsboro Road
Nashville, Tennessee
Coworker: Not only am I an asshole here, I’m an asshole at home, too!
1200 Sovereign Row
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Overheard by: shaun
Coworker: Sometimes I just go out to the warehouse dock and stand on the edge and think about jumping.
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Female: My nipples are boring.
Male: Does our insurance cover that?
5760 Highway 80
Pearl, Mississippi
Overheard by: Brain Dancing
Patient: Can I have your home number? I promise not to call you all the time. Only in case of an emergency.
Doctor: Um, I don’t give out my home number. If you are having an emergency, you need to go to the emergency room.
Patient: But they don’t know my medical history!
Doctor: But I live two hours from you. You’ll receive medical care quicker by simply going to the emergency room. Besides, all your medical history can be pulled up on their computer.
Patient: So….you’re not going to give me your number?
616 Court Street
Oberlin, Louisiana
Overheard by: Vicky
Dad: [searching through bin of Nalgene bottles] Where is it? I know they have it.
Toddler son: Have what, dad?
Dad: [still searching] The same color bottle I had.
Toddler son: Why do you need a new one, dad?
Dad: Because mommy got drunk and left my old one at her boyfriend’s house.
3225 Peachtree Road
Atlanta, Georgia
