Coworker: I love that movie Dazed and Confused! It’s one of those that you don’t have to be smart to enjoy.
1200 Sovereign Row
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Overheard by: Jayce
Coworker: I love that movie Dazed and Confused! It’s one of those that you don’t have to be smart to enjoy.
1200 Sovereign Row
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Overheard by: Jayce
Boss: I am sending emails like a wildman, I just can’t get them.
Assistant: Maybe your email box is full. Wait, no, you delete everything
Boss: Well, it could be full. I have 1,100 emails.
Assistant: Gah!
Boss: I’m not getting anything but this error message
Assistant: Wait, you’re getting an error message? That could be helpful; what does it say?
Boss: It just says “error”
Assistant: This is going to be a long day, huh?
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Off-duty employee: Don’t you just hate when you’re working and you say, "Have a nice day" and you don’t mean it, and the person knows you don’t mean it, but you have to say it anyway?
Cashier: Yeah, totally.
Cashier to customer: Thanks! Have a nice day!
Big-Box Store
Harrisonburg, Virginia
Jr. Developer: What we need is an alien invasion.
Deveveloper #11: We have one. Mexicans.
Jr. Developer: [sigh] What we need is an extraterrestrial alien invasion.
Developer #2: Boy, you sure have it out for the aliens.
Developer #1: I can’t help it. I’m a xenophobe.
Jr. Developer: The whole world is xenophobic. We need the extraterrestrial invasion in order to unite the globe and to make us stop fighting amongst ourselves.
Developer #1: Until after they left.
Jr. Developer: No, because they came from space, there could always be more of them. As paranoid humans, we have to hunt them down and exterminate them all in order to protect ourselves.
Pause
Jr. Developer: Besides, they might have oil.
501 Corporate Centre Drive
Franklin, Tennessee
Overheard by: Brian
Clerk looking through a tire catalog: Do you know which tire it is?
Customer: Yeah, the back right.
Clerk: No…
Awkward silence
Customer: Oh….no.
30983 Hwy 441 South
Commerce, Georgia
Overheard by: R. Segraves
Employee to boss: Hey I know it’s the end of the day on Friday, but I’m really bored, do you have anything for me to do?
Boss: Oh! Here have some bubblewrap!
137 4th Ave
Edmonton Alabama
The boss: Some people call it stupidity; I like to call it cleverness.
550 Dulany Street
Alexandria, Virginia
Overheard by: Toni
Attorney: I have a small problem.
Secretary: Well, you have to work with what God gave you.
8555 United Plaza Boulevard
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Visiting IT guy: You want some crack? Oh, I can get you some crack. You should have said something, I was at Pawley’s Island this weekend and had a boatload.
Assistant: Hmm, and you are on crack now. I see your hands are not shaking from withdrawal. Get out of my cubicle.
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Owner’s wife on phone: Where are the timesheets?
Girl who was just fired: They are in my hands right now.
Owner’s wife: Where are you?
Girl: What do you mean where am I? I’m at your office, you called me here!!
3202 Vie Street
Knoxville, Tennessee
