During Product Testing at Fisher-Price

Employee: I have a problem.
Boss: Did they put a cork up your ass?

Atlanta, Georgia

Overheard by: Kelly

Posted on April 9, 2009
Body Parts, Bosses and Underlings, Comebacks, Georgia, Questions, Sexuality

Teamwork and All That

Office girl: My computer just crashed.
Coworker: You can use mine.
Office girl: Thanks.
Coworker: No, you better not touch it. You might break it. (laughs, then pauses) On the other hand, I'd like you to touch it. Touch it as much as you want.

High Point, North Carolina

Posted on April 8, 2009
Body Parts, Coworkers, North Carolina, Offers and requests, Sexuality, Technology

Hard Finding a Prostitute in Baltimore, Huh?

Grad student: So I think that the manuscript should be organized differently…
(advisor's phone rings, he has a quick conversation in Arabic)
Advisor: Goddammit, sorry. I hate when my damn Arab relatives call, they always want me to set them up with prostitutes for their trips to the United States.
Grad student: Uh…
Advisor: Anyway, where is figure 3 going in your paper now?

Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: LabCat

Posted on April 3, 2009
Education, Language barrier, Maryland, On the phone, Sexuality, Students, Teachers, Travel, Weirdness

The One Made Of Gingerbread?

Supervisor, hanging up phone with crazy caller: She said Nancy Pelosi told her she could call in.
Secretary: Who's that?
Supervisor, stunned: The Speaker of the House?
Secretary: What house?
Supervisor: The one of ill-repute down on Marshall Street.

County Courthouse
Norristownm, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Lan

Posted on April 3, 2009
Admins, Bosses, On the phone, Pennsylvania, Questions, Sexuality, Weirdness

Pop Quiz: What's Going on in This Quote?

Cube monkey #1: You?re heading home already?
Haggard telecommuter that came into the office: Yup!
Cube monkey #1: Okay…um…drive safe!
Cube monkey #2: Don't whip the gerbil too hard!
Cube monkey #3: What? I thought he said he was going home?

Billerica, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Boter

Posted on April 2, 2009
Advice, Coworkers, Massachusetts, Questions, Sexuality, Violence, Weirdness

Whatever You Think, You're Irreplaceable

Female cube neighbor, whispering into cell: Jeff*, I woke up this morning with a naked gay man in my bed, and it wasn't you. I'm highly disturbed. Call me immediately.

Atlanta, Georgia

Posted on March 31, 2009
Employees, Feelings, Georgia, On the phone, Sexuality, Weirdness

…Put Me Down for Fifty Bucks.

Coworker #1: I heard on the radio this morning that this girl is selling her virginity for tuition on eBay.
Coworkers #2 and #3: Oh, that's terrible!
Coworker #4: That girl's so ignorant, she won't even be able to walk to school!

Toronto
Canadia

Posted on March 26, 2009
Canadia, Coworkers, Education, General Idiocy, Sexuality

And Repeat, If Necessary

Male creepy marketing director, asking how to change copier's toner: So you just pull it out and shove it in?
Female office manager: (sigh)

Royal Oak, Michigan

Posted on March 20, 2009
Body Parts, Bosses, Creepsters, Michigan, Questions, Sexuality, Technology

Dolphin Porn.

CFO: What are they going to use video equipment for?
Budget services director: Making porn.

River Forest, Illinois

Posted on March 19, 2009
Bosses, Financial Folk, Illinois, Questions, Sexuality, Technology

Oh! Well, I'm a Bit Disappointed, I Must Say.

Maintenance guy: Do you have any holes?
Worker: What?
Maintenance guy: Do you have any big holes?
Worker: What?
Maintenance guy: You know, any big holes in the wall that need to be repaired.

Evansville, Indiana

Posted on March 13, 2009
Blue Collar, Body Parts, Employees, Indiana, Questions, Sexuality

Sexuality