Seriously, Men Can Get Pretty Tedious

Female secretary #1: I was hoping to mow the lawn today, but I probably won't be able to because of the weather.
Female secretary #2: Yeah, it sounds like it's supposed to rain this afternoon.
Male clerk: Oh, I didn't think weather matters when it comes to mowing the lawn.
Female secretary #1: Sure it does. You get all the grass stuck on the blades, and it causes all sorts of problems.
Male clerk: No, I was referring to the other type of mowing the lawn.
Female secretary #1: Oh. Well, yeah. The weather doesn't really matter for that. And that's more of a daily thing, anyway.

Albany, New York

Posted on July 20, 2015
Admins, Coworkers, New York, Sensory Experiences, Sexuality, Weather, Wishes

I Told You That Was a Crappy Name for a Football Team

Suit on cell: The fog is coming. The fog. I can see it. The fog is coming. The fog.

Oakland, California

Posted on July 18, 2015
California, On the phone, Sensory Experiences, Suits, Weather, Weirdness

It’s Not Uncommon for an Entire Office to Be Staffed With Drama Queens

Sales girl: Oh my god… David* is back there cleaning his office and the smell is making my head hurt.
Office manager: What’s he cleaning it with?
Sales girl: The same Fantastic crap under the sink that we all use. I’ve used it on my own desk and never been so overwhelmed by the fumes. Don’t go back there.
Office manager: Why is he cleaning it himself anyway?
Sales girl: I don’t know. (pause) He must be bathing in it. Seriously, I had to get up and walk away.
Office manager: Just close his door.
Sales girl, appalled: I can’t do that! The fumes would kill him! It would be fatal!
Office manager, grabbing her arm: Close the door. Close. The. Door.

England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina

Posted on July 14, 2015
Advice, Default, Employees, Gripes, Health & Hygiene, North Carolina, Offers and requests, Sales, Sensory Experiences

Next You’ll Tell Me a Sweaty Butt Doesn’t Mean Six More Weeks of Winter

Female clerk: My nipples itch… Someone must be thinking about me.
Male doctor: What?!?
Female clerk: Isn’t that what they say? When your nipples itch someone is thinking about you?
Male doctor: Nooooooo…

Atlanta, Georgia

Overheard by: Who-la-hey

Posted on July 13, 2015
Body Parts, Doctors, Dumb Employees, Georgia, Patients, Places, Questions, Sensory Experiences, Sexuality

1PM Going Away Party

Manager: Everybody hide and don’t make any noise.
Employee: Um, we’re in a cube. Exactly where do you want us to go?
Manager: Under the tables and behind the privacy screens. Now everyone shut up.
Employee: Considering John sits right next to this cube and these dividers aren’t soundproof, this smoke and mirrors trick really is a failure.

7 Times Square
New York, NY

Posted on July 13, 2015
Bosses and Underlings, General Idiocy, Geography & History, New York, Offers and requests, Sensory Experiences

Well, quit peeking in their windows!

50-something office lady: And kissing these days is so different… These kids!

Dayton, Ohio

Posted on July 12, 2015
Compare and contrast, Employees, Sensory Experiences, Sexuality

How Does a Conversation at Work Begin “You Have a Cute Belly Button”?

Employee #1: You have a cute belly button.
Employee #2: Yeah, I know, but there's stuff in it. I am going to dig it out with a paper clip.
Employee #1: Ill.
Employee #2: Look at it!
Employee #1: Gross! Does it smell?

Lancaster, California