Co-worker: …and if you have to go to the bathroom, just buzz me or the office manager. You don’t have to hold it.
Temp: Good to know this is a compassionate work environment.
1000 Vermont Avenue, NW
Washington, DC
Co-worker: …and if you have to go to the bathroom, just buzz me or the office manager. You don’t have to hold it.
Temp: Good to know this is a compassionate work environment.
1000 Vermont Avenue, NW
Washington, DC
A handicapped client has had to be restrained for assaulting a staff.
Co-worker #1: Your behaviour was completely out of line. You hit me, tried to bite me and pissed all over my leg. How would you like it if I pissed on you if I was angry at you?
Client: I wouldn’t like it.
Co-worker #1: Hey [Jake], when you are angry at your girlfriend, do you piss all over her and try to bite her?
Co-worker #2: No, I don’t. We talk things out and listen to each other. Why did you piss on us during the restraint?
Client: You guys were not listening to me.
2a Ormonde Avenue
St. Catharines, Ontario
Canadia
Mail guy #1: He said he smoked crack at work?
Mail guy #2: Yeah.
Mail guy #1: How did he do that?
Mail guy #2: He said he did it in the bathroom.
Mail guy #1: But how?
Mail guy #2: How?
Mail guy #1: Yeah. He has to walk past about 2 guards to get in the building. Those people are trained to smell shit and they know if you’re coming in here dirty.
281 Tresser Boulevard
Stamford, Connecticut
Overheard by: Brenda Fate
Coworker #1: Hey, want to go outside to smoke?
Coworker #2: Yeah, I need to hit the can first.
Coworker #1: I already went.
Coworker #2: That wasn't an invitation.
Waterloo
Ontario
Canadia
Peon #1: I'm gonna eat lunch while I work.
Peon #2: I thought it was whistle while you work?
Peon #1: I can do both at the same time.
Peon #2: Really? At the same time? I'd like to see that!
Peon #1: Well first I would swallow, then I'd blow!
Plymouth Meeting, Pennsylvania
Man: Do you have a restroom?
Woman: Yes, through that door. You should know the handle is broken.
Man: Does it accept?
Woman: Um, yeah…
Man: Good, as long as it accepts, that's all that matters. I've got quite the load, if you know what I mean.
Napa, California
Coworker #1: Dude, is Mike* the HR manager over there? The same Mike* who used to work for us?
Coworker #2: Yeah, why?
Coworker #1: He was fired for snorting coke in the bathroom during the Christmas party!
Portland, Oregon
Old drone to another: Girl, I woke up to use the bathroom and I found some white-out on my face, it looked like I was snortin' something…
Delran, New Jersey
Overheard by: Bruce Banner
Coworker, heading to bathroom: I'll be back in about a half hour.
Plainsboro, New Jersey
Manager on phone with customer service: If they shit on me, I'll piss on them.
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: Cue
