Irate boss on phone: What?! You're holding my order because of a past due invoice for $100? We spend thousands with our vendors! This is ridiculous! $100?! I wipe my ass with $100 bills!
San Carlos, California
Irate boss on phone: What?! You're holding my order because of a past due invoice for $100? We spend thousands with our vendors! This is ridiculous! $100?! I wipe my ass with $100 bills!
San Carlos, California
Coworker on phone: Aw, did he poop? (pause) Twice? Nice! (pause) Yeah, no, if it's loose you can't pick it up. (pause) Uh-huh. That's good.
7th Ave
New York City
Overheard by: Had to hold in his own.
Scared CSR: Someone just blew up the bathroom!
Marshall Street
Richmond, Virginia
Old lady to another: Sometimes when I’m out in the garden and I have to go, instead of walking all the way to the bathroom I just go in my pants and drop them in the washing machine on the way inside.
Massachusetts
Overheard by: Disgusted in Stall #1
Boss: I smell fart.
Male coworker: Yeah, I smell fart.
Female coworker: It smells like fart.
Male coworker: Did you fart?
Boss: Did you fart?
Female coworker: No. I would fart but that one wasn’t mine.
8531 Olive Blvd
St Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: The Girl
Woman on phone: You need to have someone come by and fix the fan in the men’s restroom. If that thing is not working, we are dead, baby!
Kirtland Air Force Base
Albuquerque, New Mexico
Server support: The server is still taking errors?
Network support: Okay?
Server support: Did you run the new cable we asked for?
Network Support: Yes.
Server support: Are you sure you ran it to the correct server?
Network support: Yes.
Server support: Did you test the cable?
Network support: Yes.
Server support: How did you test it?
Network support: I farted on one end and I could smell it on the other.
1600 Dublin Road
Columbus, Ohio
Fellow intern: I think my goal for the next eight months in this company is to become a professional foosball player.
Yaletown
Canadia
Female voice from bathroom stall: Ah man, I got my earring in the wrong hole!
N. Classen
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Overheard by: oh really
IT guy, hurrying through lobby: There's someone downstairs that can't figure out how to use the little box.
Jaded marketing gal: God, I hate that.
Seattle, Washington
