Office lady to another: And that's why I think god created technology.
Puyallup, Washington
Office lady to another: And that's why I think god created technology.
Puyallup, Washington
Nurse: The patient in Room 39* requested a visit from a Mormon priest.
Chaplain: Really? I’ll have to call one, give me a moment. [Opens notebook] Ah, here we go. [Dials phone, waits] Hi, this is Chaplain Smith* at the hospital. I’m calling about a patient who would like a visit from a Mormon clergy-person. I haven’t visited with the patient, so I don’t know if he is a member of your congregation, but he did specifically request a visit from a Mormon. Feel free to call me back at 555-3418* when you get this message. Thanks. [Hangs up] Well, I left a message on their voicemail. I wonder if the Jehovah’s Witnesses check their messages often.
Nurse: Jehovah’s Witnesses…?
Chaplain: Oh, shit! I called the wrong church!
10 Medical Center Boulevard
Winston-Salem, North Carolina
Overheard by: another witness
Coworker to assistant: Do Christians celebrate Christmas?
Phoenix, Arizona
Editor #1: I have finger toes.
Photographer: You mean like long and bony?
Editor #1: Yeah, I can, like, pick stuff up with them.
Editor #2: Do you pinch people with them?
Editor #1: Yeah. I always pinch [my wife]. She hates it.
Editor #2: God is just preparing you for when you lose your arms.
333 North Meridian
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Overheard by: fransen comes alive
Employee at microwave: You know those meatballs have meat in them?
Microwaving employee: Right? Hence, meatballs.
Employee at microwave: Don’t you know the day?
Microwaving employee: Sure, it is Friday all day.
Employee at microwave: Well, it’s Lent, too.
Microwaving employee: You don’t say… Seeing as how I am a big Jew we don’t celebrate that.
Tinley Park, Illinois
Clerk #1: What are you doing for Thanksgiving?
Clerk #2: I'm not doing anything, I don't celebrate Thanksgiving.
Clerk #1: What, are you Jewish?
Leader Heights, Maryland
Colleague #1, through the coat closet door: Oh, hey, you changing in there?
Colleague #2: Yes.
Colleague #1: Oh, okay. Mazel tov…
Colleague #2: Uhh… Mazel tov to what?
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Jeff
Nurse to another: Do you watch the show where all the scientists live together? Oh you don't watch tv at night? That's show's ungodly sinful… But I do like Six Feet Under.
University of Kentucky Hospital
Lexington, Kentucky
Boss on phone: That’s what I’m saying! He’s had his beer, he’s had his Vegas, he’s a Muslim, and I’m going to hell.
1st Street
Los Angeles, California
