Relationships

Technically, She's Also My Aunt.

Judge: You've been charged with violation of section […] of the city code: having an open bottle of alcohol in public. How old are you?
Dirty, shirtless white man: Eighteen.
Judge: Does anyone else live in your household with you?
Dirty, shirtless white man: Yeah, my girlfriend and our two kids.
Judge: How old is your girlfriend?
Dirty, shirtless white man: Thirty-eight.
Judge: Thirty-eight? How long have you two been living together?
Dirty, shirtless white man: About seven years.
Judge: You're 18 and you and this woman have been living together for seven years??
Dirty, shirtless white man: Yeah.
Judge: Can you post $100 bail?
Dirty, shirtless white man: I have no money, judge.
Judge: Uh, well, then just come back on November 26, okay?
(man leaves)
Judge, to law clerk: He's got enough problems.

City Court
Long Beach, New York

Overheard by: Big Larry

And Neither of Them Knows It

Office chick #1: But why does she do that?
Office chick #2: It doesn’t matter — her boyfriend is so gay!

Melbourne
Australia

It’s Only Bad If She Doesn’t Take the Kids

Boss: If we don’t start turning things around here so I can get home sooner, I’m going to wind up divorced. And that would be…bad. I think.

6106 Excelsior Boulevard
Minneapolis, Minnesota

Overheard by: Mad Cow

If They Want to Find Syphilis, They Should Inquire with Betty in Accounting

Manager: Well if they don't fill out the forms right, they don't get their shit. I have no sympathy for them…and you know what I say? If they want to find sympathy, they can look in the dictionary between “shit” and “syphilis.”

Providence, Rhode Island

Overheard by: Katie M

The Episode Of Roseanne No One Wanted to See

CSR: Don't you and your husband ever take a shower together?
Supervisor: Are you kidding? After all these years? We don't even fit! Well, we fit, but our feet wouldn't get wet!

Indianapolis, Indiana

11AM Meet the New Girl

Office Manager: …who knows, maybe Crystal is a very nice person.
Design Assistant: But I hate people named after rocks.

228 Gerrard Street East
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: J.B.

As We've All Learned from Survivor

Designer, during meeting: You can get a lot done in a threesome if you have an alliance.

Ad Agency
Vancouver
Canadia

Overheard by: worried coworker

And Now She’s Rounding Down

Male banker on phone: He cheated on her and she took him back. Now I think she might dump him, which is really funny because, you know, he’s got everything, and she’s just so… average!

54th Street and Park Avenue
New York, New York

Overheard by: not-nearly -as-shallow female banker

Just a Little One

Cubicle #1: Oh no, today is Tuesday the 13th! Does that mean anything?
Cubicle #2: Umm… Today is the 12th. Tomorrow is the 13th. And humpday!
Cubicle #1: Oh no! Wednesday the 13th! Does that mean anything?
Cubicle #2: Well, it’s the day before Valentine’s Day. You got your wife something already, right?
Cubicle #1: Dang! I better think of something quick, right?
Cubicle #2: You haven’t gotten a card or anything?
Cubicle #1: Well, I did actually get her a gift. But I opened up my trunk yesterday and it smelled funny so I took it back.
Cubicle #2: … It wasn’t a puppy, was it?

England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina

Because, Either Way, I'm Horny.

Boss on phone: Are you calling for a trumpet or are you trying to fix me up with someone?

Miami, Florida

© 2026 OverheardinTheOffice.com
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist