Mom: The neighbor found out you’re gay.
Daughter: What did she say?
Mom: She doesn’t care. Her son is gay and her daughter’s dating a black guy.
Daughter: What does her daughter dating a black have to do with it?
Mom: Well, I would rather my daughter was a lesbian than date a black guy.
8741 W Saginaw Highway
Lansing, Michigan
Overheard by: barista
White dude to black coworker: The cool thing about Obama is that he is able to transcend race. He’s the ultimate embodiment of American multiculturalism and pluralism. He’s white and black, and his race doesn’t matter, he’s got character, which was Martin Luther King’s dream, that people would be judged according to the content of their character, not the color of their skin.
White dude #2: Yeah, well, I just can’t wait until Obama gets into office and he invites MTV over to the White House to film an episode of Cribs and he’s got a stripper pole in the basement right by his poster of Scarface.
130th Street
Tacoma, Washington
Overheard by: Stan Green
Co-worker #1: “Urban” doesn’t mean “black.”
Co-worker #2: Yes it does.
9111 East Douglas Avenue
Wichita, Kansas
Overheard by: Nate
Elderly secretary: His friend looked like…you know…one of those people who blow up planes.
3 Five Point Road
Freehold, New Jersey
Overheard by: Robert Freeman
Coworker #1: Doesn't Tanisha look a bit hot under the collar there?
Coworker #2: Must be the weather.
Coworker #1: I feel so sorry for black people, considering black attracts the sun and all.
Boston, Massachusetts
Guy: I used to work in an inner city office.
Girl: Really?
Guy: Yeah, I learned lots of words from them. Like ‘booyah’. It means ‘good.’ Like, ‘That is booyah!’
Tucson, Arizona
Overheard by: The Intern
Aussie: Is Motown a black state?
American: Uh, actually Motown is a nickname for Detroit, and a record label.
Aussie: Is Detroit a black state?
American: No, it’s a city.
Aussie: Is Tennessee a black state?
American: Whaaa… there’s no such thing as a black state.
Aussie: There isn’t?
Reservoir Street
Sydney, Australia
Overheard by: Yank Down Under
Office peon #1: I met my husband in Ireland, but he’s from South Africa originally.
Office peon #2: You’re going to have such beautiful babies.
Office peon #1: Well, I think so, but why do you?
Office peon #2: Half-black babies are always beautiful.
Office peon #1: My husband isn’t black.
Office peon #2: He’s not?
Office peon #3: Sally*, not everyone in South Africa is black. In fact, the majority of South Africans are white. Haven’t you heard of apartheid?
Office peon #2: Yeah, I guess.
Town Street
Columbus, Ohio
Male salesperson on phone to female customer: But I can't do that. I can give you a six-inch white one or an eight-inch brown one. I don't have an eight-inch white one!
Majestic Parkway
Bedford Heights, Ohio
Sales girl: Oh my God, this girl came in today and she was from, like, China or something, and on the credit card receipt she signed her name in, like, Japanese!
Manager: Ew! You're in America! Come on, learn English!
Ithaca, New York
