Race

Sometimes I Find Myself Accidentally Throwing Rocks at Them

Coworker #1: Hey, Shaniqua can you hand me that coffee?
Coworker #2 (very angry): My name is not Shaniqua–that's racist. Just because I'm black doesn't mean I have a name like that.
Coworker #1 (defensively): That isn't racism–it's a joke. Calling someone by a name that isn't theirs isn't racist. You shouldn't be so quick to call someone a racist.
Coworker #3 (after some consideration): I thought about what you said earlier and you're right. Besides, everyone is racist to some degree. Even myself. I find that I'm racist against fat people even though I don't mean to be.

Duluth, Georgia

9AM Back to Work

Supervisor to dark-skinned Indian employee: Were you out much this weekend? You are so tan.

473 Ridge Road
Dayton, New Jersey

Overheard by: office peon

I Have Some in My Trunk

Fat old creepy guy interrupting three Asian girls: So how old is this guy?
Asian girl #1 (looking awkwardly at friends): 18.
Asian girl #2: Yeah. (laughs) She likes them young.
Fat old creepy guy: Oooh! (pause) You can train him! Get a collar and a leash and a big stick like the ones my kids use to whack their pigs!

Sacramento, California

1PM Lunch

Secretary: Aw, look at you. You look so ethnic today.
Intern: Huh?
Secretary: You look like you should be seating people at a Chinese resturaunt.
Intern: Hey!
Secretary: No, in a good way…

72 Wall Street
New York, NY

Translucent

Editor: His name is Kobe.
Office manager: Kobe? Is he white?
Editor: Yes.
Office manager: Pure white?

Delray Beach, Florida

Overheard by: Lois Lane

Stay Tuned for a “Jews Of Asia” Rant

Extremely Long Island woman to receptionist: So, Dr Wong will be coming in at two to use the computer. She is a very nice oriental lady.

Dental Supply Office
Long Island, New York

Overheard by: I have a rug like that

What They Use to Mix Cocktails in the ‘Hood

Foreign coworker: What is a ‘jigga’?
Male coworker: I don’t know, I’m Turkish.
Female coworker: I don’t know, I’m White.

44th Street and 5th Avenue
New York, New York

9AM Back to Work

Co-worker: She was like, “Nigga, just drop me off at daycare and go about your business.”

11100 USA Parkway
Fishers, Indiana

Overheard by: minkey

Always Playing the Race Car

Worker #1: Does anyone know who owns the black Civic out front?
Worker #2: Why's it gotta be a black Civic? Why can't it just be a civic?

Redmond, Washington

Well, Yes, But Only on an Evolutionary Time Scale

Young white girl: You need to wear sunscreen. My mommy told me that skin gets dark if you don’t wear sunscreen.
Young black girl: I was BORN dark.
Young black boy: Me, too.
Young white girl: Really?
Young black boy: I wear sunscreen, too.
Young white girl: You were born that way? So it’s not the sun? Really?

Preschool
Austin, Texas

Overheard by: Amused Pre-K teacher

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