No Dumber Than Casting Jamie Lee Curtis As a Young Mother

Customer #1: Do you have Freaky Friday?
Clerk: Yes, we have it on DVD and VHS for rental only.
Customer #1: Okay, I’ll take one to buy.
Clerk: We only have it to rent.
Customer #1: Where is the one for sale?
Clerk: We only have it to rent. There are none for sale for that title.
Customer #1: Well, you should have said something in the first place!
Customer #2: Wow… You are really that dumb, huh?

Video store
Massachusetts

Overheard by: Dudette

Posted on March 7, 2008
Arts, Customers, Default, Dumb Customers, Employees, General Idiocy, Massachusetts, Questions, Retail

Insert “How Many Fetishists Does It Take to Screw in a Light Bulb?” Joke Here

Employee #1: How do you like your new office? Is the glare from the lights a problem? If so, I can twist the bulbs like I did in that other office.
Employee #2: That sounds kind of kinky.
Employee #1: Yeah!

Chicago, Illinois

Posted on March 7, 2008
Default, Employees, Illinois, Offers and requests, Questions, Technology

Mom: I’m pretty worn out, actually.

Homeboy customer: Yo, gots any mothafuckin’ shelves?
Employee: Did he just say what I thought he said? [Coworker nods.]Homeboy customer: Yo, man! I said, I need some mothafuckin’ shelves fo’ my mothafuckin’ clothes!
Employee, pointing: Yeah, right down that mothafuckin’ aisle.

Home repair store
Whitehall, Pennsylvania

Posted on March 7, 2008
Comebacks, Customers, Default, Employees, Insults, Pennsylvania, Questions, Words

They Might Wonder Why You Were Eating Clay

Undergrad: If I shit a brick, what would the geologists think of it?

Men’s room, University of Iowa
Iowa

Posted on March 6, 2008
Default, Design and Editorial, Iowa, Philosophy, Questions, Restroom, Students

A Nighttime Visit by the Spirit of Dave Thomas Ignited His Passion for Fries

Manager: Are the fries ready yet?
Underling: Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up!

Wendy’s, Troy-Schenectady Road
Latham, New York

Overheard by: AndyfromLakewood

Posted on March 6, 2008
Bosses and Underlings, Comebacks, Default, Meals and Snacks, New York, Questions

You Should See Me Parallel Park It

Worker bee #1: So, what do you think of my new car?
Worker bee #2: I think it looks like an un-circumcised dick.
Worker bee #1: Are you saying it’s a cock wagon?
Worker bee #2: Dude, you couldn’t pick up bitches in that.

Corvallis, Oregon

Overheard by: bystander

Posted on March 5, 2008
Body Parts, Comebacks, Compare and contrast, Coworkers, Default, Oregon, Questions

Don’t Make Me Say It

Office mate: What were you doing in my crotch?!

Office, 42nd Street
New York, New York

Posted on March 5, 2008
Body Parts, Coworkers, Default, Gripes, New York, Questions

Boss, Paper Consumption Has Doubled Recently!

Sales guy: Is the old copy machine face-up or face-down?
Office manager: Face… up. No, face-down. Eh, just try it both ways.

8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina

Posted on March 4, 2008
Coworkers, Default, General Idiocy, North Carolina, Questions, Sales, Technology

That’s Usually More of a Minor, but She’s Really Motivated

Veteran student: What are you majoring in?
New student: I’m here for Cox.

Religious university near Cox School of Business
Dallas, Texas

Overheard by: Engineering Student

Posted on March 4, 2008
Comebacks, Default, Questions, Students, Texas

Lenny and Carl Finally Confront the Race Issue

White coworker, with food in mouth: Are you going upstairs?
Black coworker: I’m sorry, what? I don’t speak cracker. [White coworker gasps.] I didn’t mean it like that. I just meant you had a cracker in your mouth!
White coworker: Sure you did!

D Street SW
Washington, DC

Posted on February 26, 2008
Coworkers, Default, Meals and Snacks, Questions, Race, Washington DC

Questions