Broker on phone: Why should you buy my bond? Because you buying it is good for my firm, good for me, and two out of three ain’t bad.
1100 Louisiana Street
Houston, Texas
Broker on phone: Why should you buy my bond? Because you buying it is good for my firm, good for me, and two out of three ain’t bad.
1100 Louisiana Street
Houston, Texas
Boss: Oh hey, what are ya'll doing in the server closet?
Underling #1: He's playing with his new toy.
Boss: Cool. What's his new toy?
Underling #2, from behind server rack: Water gun.
Dallas, Texas
Software developer on phone: Like I care what it looks like during a recession? Yes… Pull all the leather out of the Porsche. They use cheap leather at the factory!
Houston, Texas
Coworker #1: Did you have the pleasure of talking to that nasty woman on the phone?
Coworker #2: Believe me, I've had plenty of nasty women this week.
Richmond, Virginia
Black co-worker: Hey, how are you doing today?
Redneck co-worker: If I were you, I wouldn’t speak to me today.
Black co-worker: Why is that? What’s wrong with you?
Redneck co-worker: I’m not too fond of you black people today. That damn Tiger Woods has won another Major.
Black co-worker: Oh, that’s all? Well, what are you going to do when we take over NASCAR?
Redneck co-worker: [Bewildered silence]
1000 Jerry St. Pe Highway
Gulf Coast, Mississippi
Overheard by: The Guy sitting next to the idiot
20-something girl, handing over papers: These ones are re-do's.
50-something Indian man: Why?
20-something girl: Because they were crying.
50-something Indian man: Oh, boy.
20-something girl: At least no one threw up on us this year.
North Brunswick, New Jersey
Manager on phone: So I’m going to ask you a question, and you’re going to hate me for not knowing the answer. [pause] That was below the belt. [pause] It’s child protection. [pause] Annnyways, I was wondering…
473 Ridge Road
Dayton, New Jersey
Overheard by: office peon
Blonde #1: I wonder… Did they have photography when this artist was alive?
Blonde #2: Well, I don’t really know. Why do you ask?
Blonde #1: Well, how did they get the people to stand still long enough to paint their faces and stuff?
The Louvre
Paris
France
Overheard by: Mindy WIlson
Pod dweller #1: You ever had Indian food?
Pod dweller #2: Indian food? What's that?
Pod dweller #1: You know. Curry and stuff like that.
Pod dweller #2: Curry? That stuff that cows eat?
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: matty b
Student, while messing with professor's computer: How do you get your thing up?
Professor: What?
Mercer County Community College
West Windsor, New Jersey
