Office mole #1: Guess who's not coming to your birthday?
Office mole #2: Jesus Christ?
Parksville
Canadia
Overheard by: Unfortunate bystander
Office mole #1: Guess who's not coming to your birthday?
Office mole #2: Jesus Christ?
Parksville
Canadia
Overheard by: Unfortunate bystander
Co-worker #1: Do you have a dog?
Co-worker #2: No, I have a hard enough time taking care of myself, let alone another dog.
2645 South Mojave Road
Las Vegas, Nevada
Person in cubicle: Is that your cell phone?
Person in next cubicle: No, it's my mouth.
Austin, Texas
Girl #1: Well, her parents did give birth to her.
Girl #2: Which parent?!
Girl #1: … Her mum.
England
Overheard by: Rachel Wills
Customer: I need to have some work done on my car, and I want to know how much it’s going to cost.
Shop guy: Okay, let’s go take a look.
Customer: Well, the car isn’t here, it’s at my house.
Shop guy: You need to bring the car here if you want an estimate.
Customer: I don’t need an estimate, I just want to know how much it’s going to cost.
Auto body shop
New Jersey
Coworker #1: Do you want this document spf-ed?
Coworker #2: Do mean pdf-ed?
Coworker #1: Yeah, why, what did I say?
Coworker #2: Sfp.
Ellicott City, Maryland
Work bee #1: Do you get paid more because you speak two languages?
Work bee #2: No. I should, right? One would think…
Work bee #1: Yeah, seriously, speaking two languages is like having an extra toe, it makes you stand out.
Shelton, Connecticut
Coworker: The back door isn't working.
Receptionist: Oh, yeah, the card thing isn't working. It'll be fixed soon.
Coworker: How do we get into the lab from the outside, then?
Receptionist: You'll have to use the door on the other side and go around. Sorry for the incontinence.
Lancaster, California
Office peon: So, that guy with the little hat on — he’s the president?
745 Boylston Street
Boston, Massachusetts
Plumber: What do I have to do to install gas lines?
Admin: You have to take our class and enroll in a drug and alcohol testing program.
Plumber: You mean I gotta be on drugs to install gas lines?
Admin: No, sir, you have to NOT be on drugs.
Plumber: Oh, OK. I can do that.
5461 Southwyck Boulevard
Toledo, Ohio
Overheard by: Emily
