Administrator: [Les], do you have any overdue surveys?
[Les]: No, I don’t.
Administrator: You don’t have any surveys due before the 26th?
[Les]: No, the only surveys I have were due on the 23rd and the 24th.
811 Russell Avenue
Gaithersburg, Maryland
Co-worker: Okay, thanks…Hey…Are you wearing white pants? Wow. You are. This is like…some kind of day. I never seen a man wearing white dress pants here before.
350 Madison Avenue
New York, NY
Team Member #1: That lady on the street was laughing at you.
Team Member #2: Why? I was trying to make you laugh, not her.
Team Member #1: Why? Because of what you did! No one does that here!
Team Member #2: I’m just trying to bring diversity to the office…
Team Member #1: By doing that?
Team Member #2: Could you just try to not make fun of me for one day?
Just try?
201 3rd Street
San Francisco, California
Worker #1: How’s the weather outside, is it cold?
Worker #2: Girl, I’ve been working with you in the office all morning.
Worker #1: Well, at least you get to talk to people on the phone. I thought someone might have said something.
14 Penn Plaza
New York, NY
Worker #1: Damn, they’ve spelt my name wrong on the rota again.
Worker #2: How did they do that?
Worker #1: They used the wrong letters, idiot!
Trafalgar Road
Birkdale, Southport
UK
Receptionist: Hey everyone, tomorrow the building management is changing the bathrooms codes to 6-1-5.
Co-worker #1: But…we don’t have a 6.
Co-worker #2: Yeah, the buttons only go up to 5.
Co-worker #1: Is the building management trying to tell us we’re not allowed to pee any more?
2425 West Loop South
Houston, Texas
Co-worker: I found three turds this morning. Do we have someone who comes and takes care of that?
2320 West Highway 76
Branson, Missouri
Co-worker #1: Don’t you think the enter key is kind of phallic? You know–how it’s all “enter” with an arrow pointing?
Co-worker #2: Huh. Yeah. Weird.
Co-worker #1: And there’s the backspace button too. Arrow points the same way.
Co-worker #2: Yeah, maybe that’s so gay people don’t feel left out?
350 Madison Avenue
New York, NY
Co-worker #1: Did you know that the egg yolk was never able to be a chicken unless it’s fertilized?
Co-worker #2: Yeah, I mean, like eating this hard-boiled egg is like eating the eggs that you expel during your period.
Co-worker #1: Yeah, like right now I mean, you could get down and just lap it up.
845 United Nations Plaza
New York, NY
Overheard by: Sharon
Nurse: Is there a reason that there’s a “no pregnant women” sign on that room? Because the patient in there is pregnant.
1500 East Medical Center Drive
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Overheard by: Maude Lynne
