Co-worker #1: You have a thing for my stapler, don’t you?
Co-worker #2: I have to play with something. Better the stapler than myself.
127 Public Square
Cleveland, Ohio
Co-worker #1: You have a thing for my stapler, don’t you?
Co-worker #2: I have to play with something. Better the stapler than myself.
127 Public Square
Cleveland, Ohio
Suit: I really don’t think my wife got a total abdominal hysterectomy in a dentist’s office… That’s probably the wrong code…
Palo Alto, California
Teacher discussing domain and range: Alright, here’s a good way to look at it. Okay, so think of the number four as a child. And two is its father, because two squared is four. But wait, couldn’t negative two squared also be four? That’s why you need to limit the domain to be ‘X is greater than zero.’
Girl student #1: So, the moral of the story is to keep your housewife away from the mailman?
Teacher: Uh…
Girl student #2: Oh my god! My mailman is so hot!
High school
Florida
Boss: If it weren't inappropriate and illegal, I would hug and kiss you right now.
Assistant: (awkward laugh)
Los Angeles, California
VP: They were used to our company being Mr Goodbar, Mr Good Humor guy, but not anymore. If I want her to embrace it, she gotta have more skin in the game.
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Overheard by: Redacted
Candidate to recruiter: If they just look at the back of my resume, they'll get a hard on.
Raleigh, North Carolina
Cube imprisoned evil overlord: Eeeeww! Every time I see you touch that handle it just makes me want to bathe you in hand sanitizer. Um… I mean bathe your hands? in sanitizer.
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Desk jockey #1: Do you ever think you might be the star of your own Truman show?
Desk jockey #2: Man, that would be a show with a lot of wanking!
Munster Road
United Kingdom
Overheard by: Marshall
Coworker on phone: He is into all the stuff I am, like anal and light spanking and nibbling, and we are going to go for coffee next week.
24th Street and Park Avenue
New York, New York
Assistant on phone with sales rep: Allen*, what was going on with that part for Darin*?
Allen: It’ll be in here in the morning. I’m going to drive it down there, and I’m probably going to have to blow him, but I won’t like it!
Assistant on phone: He said they’ll… Wait… What did you say, Allen?!
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
