Old lady, told class would run late: I have to get home and toss my husband’s salad!
Class erupts with laughter, and the boy next to her explains the innuendo.
Old lady: If I was going to lick his ass, I’d say so… But it isn’t something I’d do before dinner.
CCSN campus
Las Vegas, Nevada
Legislative aide: I just wouldn’t want to be in the middle of a threesome. You have to keep going in and out, in and out…
House of Representatives Seat Selection, Michigan State Capitol
Lansing, Michigan
Male intern, about passing coworker: Wow… Those were some tremendous titties.
Female manager: Okay, so you know I’m your manager, right? You probably shouldn’t say ‘titties’ to me.
Plymouth, Michigan
Student: I think a couple tweaks will make it better. Don’t worry; you’ll have my evaluation on your desk in a few minutes.
Instructor: I really need it. Should I get on my knees?
Student: Um.
430 South Capitol Street SE
Washington, DC
Tall lady: This wind is blowing up in my vagina!
Suit: I thought I heard something.
Taylor Street
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: stan
Agent: Wow, I sure do have a lot of shit in my drawers!
5512 – 4th Street NW
Calgary, Alberta
Canadia
Young broker to assistant, looking out the window: Wow! I hope you brought an umbrella!
Assistant to broker: Yeah, I think I have one.
Broker to assistant: I hope you also brought a different shirt!
(assistant wearing beige silk blouse ignores comment)
Broker, mumbling: Yeaaah, wet t-shirt contest!
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: FELAGO!
Male sales manager to female coworker: Yes, I've taken the “Sexual harassment and workplace violence” classes, and I can do both!
Waterloo, Iowa
Customer: I have not ordered this product.
Service person: But we have a contract that you have signed.
Customer: How do you think it feels if I rape you in your ass every month?
Service person: I’m sorry?
Customer: How do you think it feels if I rape you in your ass every month?
Service person: Would you do it like a gentleman?
Potsdam, Germany
Director of tech support, in heavy French accent: Busy week, yes. I have had to beat off many clients.
Tech dude: Wait, what?
Director: Oh, yeah. At least 30.
Tech support conference call
California
