Office woman #1: You don't wanna eat butt?
Office woman #2: Not stinky butt!
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: Silent Assistant
Office woman #1: You don't wanna eat butt?
Office woman #2: Not stinky butt!
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: Silent Assistant
Soldier #1 is walking around slapping people on the ass with a length of stainless steel hydraulic line.
*swat!*
Soldier #1: You like that, dontcha bitch? You want some more?
Soldier #2: Oh yeah, give it to me papi!
*loud swat*
Soldier #2: OW!! [brief pause] Yeah, that was good…
Soldier #1: You want another one?
Soldier #2: Not yet, papi, I gotta go get the Crisco and rub it on my ass first.
Soldier #1: You have 5 minutes.
Bldg 2411-B
Fortt Eustis, Virginia
Overheard by: Jason Grier
IT manager: So do you want to come and find me this afternoon? We can talk about that thing.
Receptionist: Sure, I'm having it a manicure at 2.30, we can do it after that.
IT manager: Okay, but won't you have to wait for your nails to dry?
Receptionist: Oh, am I going to have to touch something?
IT manager: No, don't worry, you won't have to touch anything.
London
England
President of the board: Okay, what else do we have to go over? Are we finished here?
Boss: Yes, I think we’ve shot our wad.
Washington, DC
VP: Hey, can you pop in here to chat yet?
Accounting asst: Give me just a sec…
VP: How about now? It's urgent, and I've been giving you secs all morning.
Passing by office manager: So much for last week's sexual harassment training…
Washington, DC
Overheard by: I could use some…
Elderly boss to receptionist: Where's my coffee?
Receptionist: Are your legs broken?
Elderly boss: My third one is! Now get my coffee!
Southfield, Michigan
Office worker on phone: She squeezed my ass this time but I did get a kiss…when you've got 250 pounds of Wisconsin looming at ya, your options are limited, all you can do is brace for the impact!
Sterling, Virginia
Overheard by: Scandalized Receptionist
Man: What color is your interior?
Lady: Excuse me?
Man: Uh, uh… Uh… of your car.
Lady: Ohhh.
Peachtree Street
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: it’s NOT all pink on the inside, i guess
Retiree visiting the office: I was working on the windows and running around the yard with my caulk in my hand, and I have this neighbor, Dave*, who was standing in the bushes, and I didn’t see him. But Dave scared me and there was caulk everywhere — caulk all over the windows and caulk on my hands. No, I’m serious, there were inches of it coming out! You guys aren’t even listening to me! I didn’t know what to do about all of the caulk on my hands but I called the 800 number on the side of it and the guy said that friction could get it off.
110 Nelson Road
Saskatoon, Saskatchewan
Canadia
Employee: Are you yanking my chain?
Boss: Oh, you’ll feel it when I’m yanking your chain.
111 E Wacker Drive
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Hear No Evil
