CEO on sales pitch: When businesses first started creating web pages on the internet, it was kind of like having sex with your daughter — everyone was talking about it, but nobody really knew what they were doing.
Prospective client: Well… My daughter is eight, so I don’t think she’s having sex with anybody.
8737 Colesville Road
Silver Spring, Maryland
Office monkey #1: Sometimes I think it'd just be easier to be gay.
Office monkey #2: Except for the butt sex.
Office monkey #1: …I could take it.
Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: Only woman here…
Coworker 1: So where should we do it?
Coworker 2: I don’t have to take off my clothes, do I?
Coworker 1: You know you’re on speakerphone, right?
555 W. 57th Street
New York, NY
Employee: Bridget's out on maternity leave again? That woman is fertile!
Boss: Yeah, I know where to come if I want to have more kids.
Bellevue, Washington
Coworker #1: Good morning!
Coworker #2: Did you get the balls?
Coworker #1: What?
Coworker #2: Did you get the balls? The signed balls? Because it’ll be really bad if you didn’t!
55 Water Street
New York, New York
Overheard by: Why do I work here?
Coworker: If you’re gonna do it, do it hard so I can’t breathe.
113 East Carroll Street
Salisbury, Maryland
Boss: Wait, what’s ‘fornication’? I don’t know that word. Is it like fighting?
Coworker: Uh, no. It’s like sex.
Roselle, Illinois
Overheard by: my vocabulary is better than yours
Boss: Can I see your boobs today?
Underling: Now would be a good time to put in my two weeks.
950 Eller Drive
Fort Lauderdale, Florida
Male coworker: It’s funny, but my son is too embarrassed to buy condoms, so he just has anal sex with his girlfriend.
Female coworker: That’s a good idea.
Yellowknife, Northwest Territories
British Columbia
Canadia
Overheard by: Stinky Pinky
Guy: That’s because you broke it!
Hot blonde: I know, I totally put it in the wrong hole.
Guy: You should be more careful.
Hot blonde: I added more liquid, but I get no smoke.
Guy: Did you make sure to re-insert the thingie?
80 Grasslands Avenue
Elmsford, New York
Overheard by: Bored Beyond Belief
