At This Point, Henrietta's Pants Spontaneously Burst Into Flames

Customer on cell with full cart of groceries: Hello? Yeah, I had to stay at work late 'cos one of the other girls was sick… I just got in my car now.

Mamaroneck, New York

Overheard by: The Cashier

Posted on August 3, 2009
Customers, Health & Hygiene, Lies, Meals and Snacks, New York, On the phone, Weirdness

Career Tip: Never Let a Poodle Answer the Phones

Suit on phone: Hey, is the Frenchman there? Is the vet there? Who's there?

Times Square
Manhattan, New York

Posted on July 21, 2009
General Idiocy, New York, On the phone, Questions, Suits

Your Editors Are Betting on Either “Buddy” or “Junior”

Lady on phone: Hey, it's Allison. Do you know if there is a website where you can see if someone has an outstanding warrant out for them? (pause) Can you look online and find one? (pause) You know my husband's name, right?

Florida

Overheard by: Scared In Orlando

Posted on July 20, 2009
Family, Florida, Internet, Names, On the phone, Questions, Weirdness

Your Bunch Is Waiting for You

Receptionist, over intercom: Would anyone with a banana please come to the front desk?

Boston, Massachusetts

Posted on July 17, 2009
Massachusetts, Meals and Snacks, Offers and requests, On the phone, Receptionists, Weirdness

So That “Pussy” Remark Earlier… ?

Woman on speakerphone: Get off my back! Now!!
Coworker on phone: Uh, excuse me??
Woman on speakerphone, flustered: Sorry…I meant my cat.

Palo Alto, California

Overheard by: bluesage

Posted on July 13, 2009
Animals, Body Parts, California, Coworkers, On the phone, Sexuality, Weirdness

No Teeth

Woman on cell: If you're going to get a vagina, you may as well get a nice one.

San Francisco, California

Overheard by: fetishgirl

Posted on July 8, 2009
Body Parts, California, On the phone, Physical Appearance, Weirdness

Could You Stop Talking About Janice Dickinson That Way?

Cubicle dweller on phone: The problem is: it's a very large pole with a very small head, and it's very ridiculous-looking.

Bristol, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: signguy

Posted on July 7, 2009
Body Parts, Employees, On the phone, Pennsylvania, Physical Appearance, Sexuality, Weirdness

Did You Check the Freezer?

Man on cell: Where the hell is my box of mustaches?

Dallas, Texas

Overheard by: CarnivorousGnar

Posted on July 3, 2009
On the phone, Physical Appearance, Questions, Texas, Weirdness

But Your Call Is Important to Us, So Please Remain on the Swine

Man on cell: That's just the delay in copulating your pig.

Ithaca, New York

Overheard by: MonCree

Posted on July 2, 2009
Animals, New York, On the phone, Sexuality, Weirdness

They Tend to Cut Into My Boob-Watching Time

Admin on phone with engineer: Hello, it's me. (pause) At the desk. (pause) I know, what are you wearing? (pause) Haha…okay, we need to end this conversation, because I do not need to go to a seminar.

Boston, Massachusetts

Posted on July 1, 2009
Admins, Clothes, Engineers, General Idiocy, Massachusetts, On the phone, Questions

On the phone