Raise Your Hand If You Want Her Job

Woman on cell: Hi, did you ring me earlier? (pause) Oh, sorry about that. I was napping in my office.

Fordham University
New York

Posted on April 15, 2011
New York, On the phone, Questions, Time Management

Talk Dirty to Me, and It'll Go Quicker

Dispatch to driver on phone: Hey Pat, did you get your load off yet?

Paper Recycling Office
Westchester, New York

Posted on April 14, 2011
New York, On the phone, Questions, Sexuality, Words

Calling Tech Support Can Be Fruitful Only If You Have the Right Attitude

Girl on cell: I had a deep conversation with my Indian today about parents, hopes and dreams. And then I yelled at him for screwing up one of the resumes I was working on.

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Posted on April 4, 2011
Anger management, Family, Feelings, On the phone, Pennsylvania, Philosophy

It's “Overpromise and Underdeliver,” Right?

Coworker on phone: I'm not married to anything on this team. We're just dating. I mean, there's definitely some heavy petting going on, but we are not going all the way. This client is not getting my v-card.

Seattle, Washington

Posted on March 30, 2011
Coworkers, Gossip, On the phone, Relationships, Sexuality, Washington

That's How the Government Works, Ma'am

Coworker on the phone: So let me get this straight. You have my money so you don't give a shit.

Oldwick, New Jersey

Posted on March 23, 2011
Coworkers, Money, New Jersey, On the phone, Threats

I Can't Remember Why We Fought

Suit on cell: I touched my toes for the first time in ten years last Tuesday.

Los Angeles, California

Posted on March 18, 2011
Body Parts, California and Northwest, On the phone, Sensory Experiences, Suits, Weirdness

And Are Those Teeth?

Female manager on call: That thing is huge! Is it six inches?!

Lewiston, Maine

Posted on February 23, 2011
Admins, Feelings, Maine, On the phone, Physical Appearance, Sensory Experiences

What With the Double Standard and So Forth

New office drama queen, on phone: Well see, I just found out my cousin has five different baby mamas. I don't feel bad about having two different baby daddies.

Seattle, Washington

Posted on February 21, 2011
Family, Feelings, Gays and lesbians, On the phone, Washington, Weirdness

Need…Facebook…Can't Breathe…

Administrator, on phone: What? The internet's going to go down? Why don't you just suck all the oxygen out of the building?

Manhattan, New York

Posted on February 10, 2011
Admins, General Idiocy, New York, On the phone, Questions, Technology

It Got a Restraining Order Against the Doctor

Pregnant employee on personal call: I tried to have an ultrasound done but it didn't work out. Nothing to do with the baby–it was my uterus. It's an asshole.

Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: Gwen Styles

Posted on February 8, 2011
Body Parts, Canadia, Employees, Insults, On the phone, Science

On the phone