On the phone

Coworker in cubicle on phone at 7 am: I can't talk about that right now. I don't want everyone here to know my business this early in the morning.” (after a few seconds pause) I usually wait until the afternoon.

Elkridge, Maryland

Coworker on phone: “C” as in “telephone”? Oh, “a” as in “telephone”…

Grandview, Ohio

Overheard by: Ty

VP of operations, in meeting with IT, taking semi-important phone call: Hi, this is Ted*. (pause) Yeah. You know what, let me call you back, I'm in the middle of somebody right now.

Washington, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Server guy

Engineer coworker on phone: I've got this article. You should read it. It's a patent. We could do this!

Wisconsin

Guy on phone with one finger stuffed in his ear: I didn't get it, Lisa, what's your dad dying got to do with us not having anal? (pause) What? No sex at all? (pause) Not even a blowjob? Jeez, I mean, why are you acting so weird all of a sudden?

Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: Saagar

Colleague on phone: No, no, no. No! I'm gonna ask you, like Tina Turner asked Ike: What's love got to do with this, baby?

Fordham University
New York

Office lady on phone: No, I'm not getting Dave to help… Hell, you know what men think six inches is!

British Columbia
Canadia

Receptionist on phone: I'm never making a loaf again!

Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: Justin

Coworker on phone: 'A' as in 'telephone'? (pause) Oh, 'e' as in 'telephone.'

Grandview, Ohio

Receptionist: Good morning. How may I direct your call?
Telemarketer: I'm looking for Dick. I mean, I'm looking for a dick. I mean, I'm looking for someone named Dick.

Austin, Texas