…What Do You Mean They're Pooping Rubber?

Camp coordinator on cell with staff: So wait… They took your shoes and started chewing on them? (pause) But are your shoes okay now? (pause) Well, that's good then, at least. Sometimes I wonder why I work with children.

Ontario
Canada

Overheard by: Camp really is a magical place…

Posted on June 29, 2021
Bosses, Canadia, Clothes, Employees, On the phone, Questions, Weirdness

…Senator.

Coworker, on phone to client: We provide all sorts of services, it just depends on whether or not you're willing to pay for them.

Edmonton
Canadia

Posted on June 26, 2021
Canadia, Coworkers, Customers, Money, On the phone

Spleen Rolls, I Think

Sales rep on cell: I hope it's not your spleen! Okay, gotta go, Chinese food is here.

Newton, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Well they DO make great orange chicken…

Posted on June 13, 2021
Feelings, Massachusetts, Meals and Snacks, On the phone, Sales, Wishes

I Wondered What James Stockdale Was Up To These Days

Operator: Thank you for calling Bayshore Medical Insurance*; how can I assist?
Caller: So who are you?
Operator: We’re an insurance company.
Caller: And what do you do?
Operator: We help you with your insurance.
Caller: I don’t understand.
Operator: Well, your boss gives you benefits for working there, and our job is to help you use your benefits.
Caller: I don’t have any benefits! I never signed up for this! Did my boss tell you to call me? Is he trying to set me up? Who told you to call me?
Operator: Sir, you called me.

Market Street
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: The Man

Posted on June 5, 2021
California, Dumb Customers, Employees, General Idiocy, Health & Hygiene, On the phone

They’re Good Mostly for Office Supplies

Guy on phone waiting for other end to pick up: If I’m going to get caught embezzling, it’s not going to be at a nonprofit– [other end picks up] –Hi, Deborah*!

San Francisco, California

Posted on May 15, 2021
California, Dumb Employees, On the phone

If You Show Up Dressed As Barney Again, We Will Light Your Tail on Fire

Coworker on phone: Just wear your own clothes.

Arlington, Virginia

Overheard by: DC Diva

Posted on May 4, 2021
Advice, Coworkers, On the phone, Virginia

…Another Millionaire Contestant Wastes Their “Phone-a-Friend”

Female on cell in hallway: HPV. HPV. No, not HIV, HPV. You know, the warts… Yeah, HPV. I don't know, freeze them off maybe?

O'Fallon, Missouri

Posted on April 25, 2021
Advice, Health & Hygiene, Missouri, On the phone

Career Tip: Whoever Gets Your Time Sheet Owns You

Suit on cell: I went across the street to the Chinese/Thai food place for lunch, and not everything afterwards went according to plan. I've spent enough time in the bathroom this afternoon to finish reading a book. I know you weren't necessarily dying for that information, but that's the reason this took me a while to finish. I will still be billing two hours to this, though, even though it took a bit longer.

Manhattan, New York