Customer service rep to customer service rep: Dude, I totally fell asleep in the middle of that last call. The lady was like, uh, hello? I said, uh, yeah, sorry about that. My computer’s really slow.
Elevator
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: I can’t believe I work here…
Lawyer with door wide open: No, man. No, it was just a booty call.
Near Dupont Circle
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Booty Call Receptionist
Coworker on phone: Yeah. Unemployed is just un-fun. So, I’m happy with what I got. Even if it rapes me.
Alpharetta, Georgia
Front desk: XYZ Inn*, Avery* speaking. How may I help you?
Caller: Is this the Holiday Inn?
Front desk: No, it’s the XYZ Inn.
Caller: So you’re not the Holiday Inn anymore?
Front desk: No!
Caller: Okay.
611 Ocean Street
Santa Cruz, California
Overheard by: Crystal
CSR: Okay, sir, I’m now going to give you your confirmation number: 5-9-7*-M as in ‘Michael’– No, M as in ‘Michael.’ No, I know your name is not Michael, sir. I’m saying ‘M as in Michael.’ Okay… 5-9-7-M as in ‘mother’– Sir… Yes, I’m sorry… I’m not saying you’re a woman, sir…
999 de Maisonneuve Boulevard
Montreal
Canadia
Overheard by: Monika
Coworker on phone: I wouldn’t put that guy in charge of his own pants.
516 High Street
Maitland, NSW
Australia
Overheard by: Squigley
Male worker on phone: What? Was it my fault? I’m sorry, I said the wrong thing… So she’s still in heat?
11th Avenue
Calgary, Alberta
Canadia
Overheard by: Needs a new desk soon
Cube rat on phone: Well, spray Garrett*, have him walk around for a while, and see if he comes back smelling the same.
Highway 69 South
Monroe, Wisconsin
Coworker on phone with QC guy: Um… You just hit the printer icon… What? Well, just type it on a Word document. Uh, you type, then hit that aforementioned printer icon… Okay, hold up. Let’s just start from square one, shall we? First, is your computer on this time? Okay, hit your start button, down there at the bottom of your screen. Uh, and don’t really hit it — just click, okay? Now click ‘All programs’… M-hmmm… Now click ‘Microsoft Office, and then ‘Microsoft Word.’ You get a pop-up on your computer about macros. Click the ‘X.’ [Sighs.] Well, give it a minute — you’ll have a pop-up. Very good. Yes, hit the ‘X.’ [After pause] Now you type — you know — typey-type-type-type? Then print. Right. No, if you don’t save it, then it won’t stay on your computer… What exactly are you typing and printing in there? … You know what? Never mind. It’s better if I just don’t know. [Hangs up, then speaks to self.] And I can’t ship anything without him checking the parts first… I have a good feeling in my belly now.
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Office guy spatting while office girl: You slap like my mom.
Office girl: [Laughs.]Client on speakerphone with office supervisor who’s frantically hushing employees: I think the guy in the background just said he slept with his mom.
Ringwood, New Jersey
Overheard by: cps
