You'd Be Excited, Too, If You'd Been Changing Diapers for Ten Years

Receptionist on phone: Hey, little man! Did you go pee pee on the potty? (announcing to office) He peed on the potty!

Navy Yard
Washington, DC

Posted on November 11, 2008
Health & Hygiene, On the phone, Questions, Receptionists, Restroom, Washington DC

Victor Borge: I Spit on You!

Help desk: Thank you for calling, this is SUU, how can I help you?
Ditzy caller: Yeah…hi, I'm having problems with your website. Whenever I enter my employment in this field it kicks back a scary warning and says invalid characters.
Help desk: Okay, we're having a bit of a glitch with that, so just go ahead and remove all of the punctuation, then it should go through no problem.
Ditzy caller: Punctuation? You mean like capital words?

Atlantic Avenue
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Ang

Posted on November 5, 2008
Customer Service, Customers, Internet, Massachusetts, On the phone, Questions, Words

And Rearranges Whatever's Left

Lady on phone: Well, you know…surgery really takes something out of you.

Indianapolis, Indiana

Overheard by: Bearphan

Posted on November 4, 2008
General Idiocy, Health & Hygiene, Indiana, On the phone

The Best I Can Do Is Be Amish Via Fax

Phone rep to others at lunch table: I'm sorry, I just can't make myself a Mormon on the phone.

Chesapeake, Virginia

Overheard by: Project Manager

Posted on October 21, 2008
On the phone, Out to Lunch, Receptionists, Religion, Virginia

The Office Is Aiming to Reach a Wider Feline Demographic This Season

Cashier, over intercom: Brian to the front desk, please.
Not Brian, over intercom: Meowwwww?

Wheaton, Maryland

Overheard by: I don't think that was Brian.

Posted on October 17, 2008
Animals, Employees, Maryland, On the phone

Now Go Download Porn Like a Good Boy

Angela: Hello, this is Angela, how may I help y… No! No, son, I am too busy to talk about Hannah Montana! (hangs up angrily)

Cedar Hill, Texas

Posted on October 16, 2008
Cinema, On the phone, Receptionists, Texas

At Least I Don't End My Sentences with Prepositions

Angry customer on phone: Where are you located at?
CSR: Iowa.
Angry customer on phone: I outta come there and kick your ass!
Calm CSR: With all due respect sir, bring it. (hangs up)

Boyrum
Iowa City, Iowa

Overheard by: Cube Mate

Posted on October 14, 2008
Customer Service, Customers, Insults, Iowa, On the phone, Threats

I Refuse to Procreate with Him 'Til He Gets This Straight

Coworker #1, hanging up the phone: I can't believe it's six o'clock, I should be going home and I'm here on the phone talking to Steve* about chicken eggs!
Coworker #2: Why?
Coworker #1: I don't know, he thinks the yolks mean they're fertilized.

Austin, Texas

Overheard by: that's not how eggs work