Took Us a While, Too

New airport paging/information clerk: Paging passenger Emerson Bigguns, passenger Emerson Bigguns. Please call airport information from the nearest white courtesy phone.
(pregnant pause) Fuck!

Airport
San Antonio, Texas

Overheard by: YGBSM

Posted on December 2, 2008
Body Parts, Employees, Insults, On the phone, Texas

Beauty's Still Awaiting the Kiss That Will Awaken Her Sleeping Mind

Bimbo named Jennifer answering office phone: Hello, this is Janet, how can you help me?

Ocala, Florida

Overheard by: LMAO

Posted on November 27, 2008
Bimbettes, Florida, General Idiocy, On the phone, Questions

Hey, We Have a Heritage, We Don't Have to Memorize It

Man on phone: You should be in Boston, that's where Ben Franklin is from! The second President is from Boston!

Springfield, Massachusetts

Posted on November 20, 2008
Advice, General Idiocy, Geography & History, Massachusetts, On the phone

You'd Be Excited, Too, If You'd Been Changing Diapers for Ten Years

Receptionist on phone: Hey, little man! Did you go pee pee on the potty? (announcing to office) He peed on the potty!

Navy Yard
Washington, DC

Posted on November 11, 2008
Health & Hygiene, On the phone, Questions, Receptionists, Restroom, Washington DC

Victor Borge: I Spit on You!

Help desk: Thank you for calling, this is SUU, how can I help you?
Ditzy caller: Yeah…hi, I'm having problems with your website. Whenever I enter my employment in this field it kicks back a scary warning and says invalid characters.
Help desk: Okay, we're having a bit of a glitch with that, so just go ahead and remove all of the punctuation, then it should go through no problem.
Ditzy caller: Punctuation? You mean like capital words?

Atlantic Avenue
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Ang

Posted on November 5, 2008
Customer Service, Customers, Internet, Massachusetts, On the phone, Questions, Words

And Rearranges Whatever's Left

Lady on phone: Well, you know…surgery really takes something out of you.

Indianapolis, Indiana

Overheard by: Bearphan

Posted on November 4, 2008
General Idiocy, Health & Hygiene, Indiana, On the phone

The Best I Can Do Is Be Amish Via Fax

Phone rep to others at lunch table: I'm sorry, I just can't make myself a Mormon on the phone.

Chesapeake, Virginia

Overheard by: Project Manager

Posted on October 21, 2008
On the phone, Out to Lunch, Receptionists, Religion, Virginia

The Office Is Aiming to Reach a Wider Feline Demographic This Season

Cashier, over intercom: Brian to the front desk, please.
Not Brian, over intercom: Meowwwww?

Wheaton, Maryland

Overheard by: I don't think that was Brian.

Posted on October 17, 2008
Animals, Employees, Maryland, On the phone

Now Go Download Porn Like a Good Boy

Angela: Hello, this is Angela, how may I help y… No! No, son, I am too busy to talk about Hannah Montana! (hangs up angrily)

Cedar Hill, Texas

Posted on October 16, 2008
Cinema, On the phone, Receptionists, Texas

At Least I Don't End My Sentences with Prepositions

Angry customer on phone: Where are you located at?
CSR: Iowa.
Angry customer on phone: I outta come there and kick your ass!
Calm CSR: With all due respect sir, bring it. (hangs up)

Boyrum
Iowa City, Iowa

Overheard by: Cube Mate

Posted on October 14, 2008
Customer Service, Customers, Insults, Iowa, On the phone, Threats

On the phone