Office drone #1: I see you've got a machete.
Office drone #2, wistfully: Who doesn't, in this workaday world?
Williamsburg, Virginia
Overheard by: Stunned into silence
Office drone #1: I see you've got a machete.
Office drone #2, wistfully: Who doesn't, in this workaday world?
Williamsburg, Virginia
Overheard by: Stunned into silence
Female suit: So I was on the elevator with him, and had to explain to Roger Ailes why I was in a bra and panties.
FOX News Headquarters
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Newsbunny
Entry level peon: What I need is a lackey to follow me around and do stuff for me when I tell them to.
Manager: Listen honey, I hate to tell you this, but you are the lackey.
Argentia Road
Mississauga
Canadia
Overheard by: Nobody’s bitch
VP Engineering: Printing has been dropped as a feature, but at least we’re not sacrificing quality to meet the schedule.
2279 Vista Del Mar
San Mateo, California
Office drone #1: What’s a funnier prank — if I tape the the receiver to the boss’s phone, or if I fix it so she can’t open the drawer?
Office drone #2: Um, maybe you should… [looks pointedly at returning boss behind drone #1].
Office drone #1: I know! I’ll glue her coffee mug to her desk. Bitch’ll be spewing!
Boss, standing right behind drone #1: Bitch is behind you.
Harris Street
Pyrmont, Sydney
Australia
Overheard by: get back to work!
Office peon: Will the office gift exchange be unisex?
Boss (seriously): That's inappropriate in the workplace.
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: beth the observer
Manager: I’ll just talk a lot… but not really say anything.
5800 South Quebec Street
Greenwood Village, Colorado
Overheard by: leedle
Manager: We really need to work on proper pronunciation on the phones. We really hear a lot of this, and it definitely needs to be improved. For instance: How do you say a-s-k? Anyone? (pause) You say “ask” not “axed”!
Employee: Well, who say dat?
Wayne, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: office grunt #12
Frustrated coworker to outside vendor: I must have gotten the confused department, because they don't know what they're doing.
East Petersburg, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Michelle
VP to manager: My job is going across the street saying things aren't going very well, and your job is to come to me and tell me things aren't going very well.
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: debragail
