Entry level peon: What I need is a lackey to follow me around and do stuff for me when I tell them to.
Manager: Listen honey, I hate to tell you this, but you are the lackey.
Argentia Road
Mississauga
Canadia
Overheard by: Nobody’s bitch
Entry level peon: What I need is a lackey to follow me around and do stuff for me when I tell them to.
Manager: Listen honey, I hate to tell you this, but you are the lackey.
Argentia Road
Mississauga
Canadia
Overheard by: Nobody’s bitch
VP Engineering: Printing has been dropped as a feature, but at least we’re not sacrificing quality to meet the schedule.
2279 Vista Del Mar
San Mateo, California
Office drone #1: What’s a funnier prank — if I tape the the receiver to the boss’s phone, or if I fix it so she can’t open the drawer?
Office drone #2: Um, maybe you should… [looks pointedly at returning boss behind drone #1].
Office drone #1: I know! I’ll glue her coffee mug to her desk. Bitch’ll be spewing!
Boss, standing right behind drone #1: Bitch is behind you.
Harris Street
Pyrmont, Sydney
Australia
Overheard by: get back to work!
Office peon: Will the office gift exchange be unisex?
Boss (seriously): That's inappropriate in the workplace.
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: beth the observer
Manager: I’ll just talk a lot… but not really say anything.
5800 South Quebec Street
Greenwood Village, Colorado
Overheard by: leedle
Manager: We really need to work on proper pronunciation on the phones. We really hear a lot of this, and it definitely needs to be improved. For instance: How do you say a-s-k? Anyone? (pause) You say “ask” not “axed”!
Employee: Well, who say dat?
Wayne, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: office grunt #12
Frustrated coworker to outside vendor: I must have gotten the confused department, because they don't know what they're doing.
East Petersburg, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Michelle
VP to manager: My job is going across the street saying things aren't going very well, and your job is to come to me and tell me things aren't going very well.
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: debragail
Boss: What's the hourly rate for Becky? (pause) I want to know her hourly rate. How much per hour?
Lexington, Kentucky
Overheard by: Brian
Attorney #1: The governor suggested that everyone not evacuating write their social security number on their arm in indelible ink. I’m going to go through our database and tattoo the SSN of our richest client on my chest with my children as beneficiaries.
Attorney #2: You better get that tattoo on your ass because you’re going to be floating face down in the floodwater.
8555 United Plaza Boulevard
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
