Very white supervisor: Are we keeping it gangster in here?
Annoying cubicle inhabitant: Oh yeah. We keep it real gangster.
Morris Plains, New Jersey
Overheard by: the intern in the next cubicle
Very white supervisor: Are we keeping it gangster in here?
Annoying cubicle inhabitant: Oh yeah. We keep it real gangster.
Morris Plains, New Jersey
Overheard by: the intern in the next cubicle
Female designer: I’ve been yoinked a lot today.
Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: Meg
Cubicle guy, coming around the corner: Stacy… you’re in trouble. Oh… Stacy isn’t here today? No? Well, in that case, I’ll just leave a sticky on her desk for her return.
Guy in next cubicle: Dude, that’s disgusting.
Fort Lauderdale, Florida
Overheard by: Marko
President: In the process of moving our data center across the Atlantic, we have eliminated the Director of Operations position. We will not be refilling it.
Ops member: Are we downsizing?
President: Well, we are down one.
Spear Street
San Francisco, California
Engineer: Did you see that e-mail bob sent?
Technician: Yes, he’s creating an army of idiots in his own image!
Wayne, Pennsylvania
Employee #1: Where does our CEO go? He randomly disappears for days.
Employee #2: He goes to CEO mountain, where all the CEOs stand around and circle jerk.
[CEO walks in minutes later.]Employee #1: Hey Ben*, where were you? CEO mountain?
CEO: [Laughs.] Yeah, CEO mountain.
Employee #2: What do you guys do up there?
CEO: We all stand around and talk about our truculent staff.
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Black female coworker: Oooh, honey, I love me some fags. Fags is the best girlfriends.
White queer coworker: That’s ’cause we all want to be black women!
White female coworker: Can the rest of us get workplace diversity hours for listening to this shit?
Columbus, Ohio
Overheard by: Giggling in my cube
VP: I can’t understand some people. I emailed *Karen with a specific question and she just replied, “I am currently out of the office and will return in one week”. Why didn’t she answer my question?
Beachwood, Ohio
Earnest cube rat: If it’s ready on time, it will be ready. But if it’s not ready on time, then it won’t be ready.
14455 North Hayden Road
Scottsdale, Arizona
Overheard by: Cubey McCuberton
Customer: Can you tell me if the installer is running on time today?
CSR: I have no way of knowing that, sir. Your appointment is scheduled between twelve and four today. If the installer is not there by four, then you can call back and we can tell you that he is running late.
Enfield, Connecticut
