Office Politics

Coworker (exchanging his stapler for absent coworker's stapler): My stapler is broken.
Intern: You're bad! Bad!
Coworker: Muahahaha! I am eeeevil!

New York City, New York

Overheard by: Hiding my stapler

Office worker: Leslie, before you leave, let me see if I have anything for you to sign.
Leslie: You know I'm signatorially challenged.

A&M University
College Station, Texas

Overheard by: Faith

Boss to peon: Because I don't want you edgy. I want you your usual fuzzy self when I beat you up.

New York City, New York

Overheard by: happy she is always edgy

(two event planners are looking at their supply boxes for upcoming events)
Planner #1: My box is so full! I didn't realize there was so much stuff squeezed into my box.
Planner #2: Me either! But I don't like all these things that were put in my box. Who has been sticking stuff in my box? I don't like when people stick stuff in my box without asking me first.
Planner #1: We need to tell people to start leaving our boxes alone.

Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: You Better Leave My Box Alone!

Manager: I remember him when he was still an exchange student, what do you call those?
Intern: Interns?

Oakland, California

Boss lady: So this list needs to be redone and given back to me. The deadline is July 1st.
New worker: But it's August 10th!
Boss lady: Oh, honey, you work for the Government now, nobody gets in a hurry when they work for the Government.

Raleigh,North Carolina

Forgetful manager: Fool me once… Um… Shame on me… Fool me twice… And… I'll have to file a disciplinary report on you.

Boulder, Colorado

Overheard by: clang

Office worker: Okay, who started the cookie rumor? I have 45 people coming to my desk asking me for some cookies that I made!

Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: maryk

Female estimator: My boss is going to deep dive me on this tomorrow. He knows where all my holes are.

Everett, Washington

PA: Buffy Capri, please call the operator, Buffy Capri.
Secretary #1: Who the hell is Buffy Capri?
Secretary #2: I don’t know. An exotic dancer or a porn star?
Secretary #1: Buffy Capri, you’re wanted on the lido deck.
Secretary #3: She’s a paralegal. With a dumb name.

Atlanta, Georgia