Male coworker to female coworker: Will you stop calling me “daddy”? At least in public. Stop calling me “daddy” in public!
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Male coworker to female coworker: Will you stop calling me “daddy”? At least in public. Stop calling me “daddy” in public!
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Young office worker to coworker, just before lunch: I had unprotected sex last night, so I have to run out and get the morning-after pill. Do you want me to grab you something while I'm out?
Trevose, Pennsylvania
Tenant to office building manager: Do you have anything that is big, hard, and metal?
Ottawa
Canadia
Southern lady #1: Oh my goodness, I lost my ring!
Southern lady #2: Oh no! Let me help you look for it.
Southern lady #1: Well, I think I put it on today. Aw man, that's gonna bug me all day. Oh dear. Oh, wait… It's on my other hand! I found it!
Chapel Hill, North Carolina
Office manager: Empty your bucket full of love right here in the garbage can.
Manhattan, New York
Starbucks barista: And what size would you like?
Very tall and intimidating black man with deep voice: My size.
(barista grabs largest cup available)
Santa Rosa, California
Overheard by: One-Hit
Female boss at IT meeting: What were you doing at lunch that made you so sweaty?
Male developer #1: Just washing my wife's car.
Male developer #2: So, did you have a good time “washing your wife's car?”
(everyone laughs)
Female boss: You can wash my car anytime you want.
Male developer #1: Uh… okay.
Female boss: What?
Fayetteville, Arkansas
Store manager to employee: Can you tighten your ballbag, please? I want all ballbags to be tight.
(customers start giggling and laughing)
Store manager: Come on, guys, we're in a sports store–the word “ballbag” isn't funny here!
Melbourne
Australia
Manager: Do you want to hear the rumors about layoffs and so on? Well, what I've been hearing is that things will be quiet for a while.
(flash of lightning followed by huge ominous boom of thunder)
Manager: No, I mean it!
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Employee at Christian book store: Hi there, can I help you find something?
Customer: I'm looking for a book.
Employee: Alright, what's the title?
Customer: I don't know. It's a book about… uhm, Jesus.
Employee: Okay. I think you're going to have to be a little more specific, since we have a lot of books on that subject.
Customer: It has a green cover.
Gainesville, Florida
