Even at a Picnic You Try to Micromanage Me

Manager giving out hot dogs at company picnic: Why don't you pry open your buns there so I can slide my meat in?

Milton Mall
Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: amused worker

Posted on May 10, 2016
Body Parts, Bosses, Canadia, Meals and Snacks, Offers and requests, Questions, Sexuality, Weirdness

Yeah, They Have All Kinds of Crap

Female suit: This chair is too high. My feet barely touch the floor. I should order a step stool from the Office Supplies Department. Do you have the catalog?
Male suit: They have stool samples in there?

3 2nd Street
Jersey City, New Jersey

Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer

Posted on April 12, 2016
Comebacks, Gripes, New Jersey, Offers and requests, Suits, Words

Well, an IV, Some Sort of Modified Reciprocal Saw, a Rubber Hand, and a Lot of Lotion Ought to Do the Trick

General manager: Listen, if you guys can find a way for me to whack off another six months, that would be great.

12112 115th Avenue NE
Kirkland, Washington

Posted on March 21, 2016
Bosses, Offers and requests, Time Management, Washington

“Dear H.R….”

Project manager: You get me those butt connectors and we'll get back there and touch them.

Kansas City, Kansas

Posted on March 13, 2016
Body Parts, Bosses, Kansas, Offers and requests, Weirdness

…Even If You Are the Janitor.

Secretary: I would prefer it if you yell at me once in a while; it keeps me on my toes.

Minneapolis, Minnesota

Posted on March 12, 2016
Admins, Minnesota, Offers and requests, Weirdness

Does He Go to the Bikini Car Wash and Interrupt Her Work?

Supervisor: I need your traveler in the system by 2.
Employee: Okay, I'll get on that after lunch.
Supervisor: Sounds good. (notices ass pressed up against window) And tell Nick his friend isn't allowed to bring him lunch anymore.

Rio Rancho, New Mexico

Posted on March 9, 2016
Body Parts, Bosses and Underlings, Meals and Snacks, New Mexico, Offers and requests, Office Politics

She Knows the Rules

Office chick #1: Hey, Lauren* wants you to answer her phone while she's out.
Office chick #2: Tell her to go jerk off in a corner.

Main Street
Peekskill, New York

Overheard by: Pam Beesly

Posted on March 6, 2016
Coworkers, Default, Employees, Offers and requests, Office Politics, On the phone, Sexuality

Especially the Cats’ Eyes

Kindergarten boy: Mrs. Jones*, I need to go to the bathroom.
Teacher: No, you just went.
Kindergarten boy: Please, Mrs. Jones*. I gotta go.
Teacher: No, you were told you had to wait.
Kindergarten boy: But I have to go now! My marbles are itchy!

Manitoba
Canadia