North Carolina

There Can Be No Obesity without Denial

Office girl #1: I don’t like lettuce.
Office girl #2: You don’t eat lettuce? Why’d you get a salad?
Office girl #1: Because I need to lose weight! I’m getting fat!
Office girl #2: What else is that in your salad?
Office girl #1: Chicken.
Office girl #2: Grilled or fried?
Office girl #1: Ummm… Fried…
Office girl #2: Uh-huh… Is that cheese I see in there?
Office girl #1: Yes!
Office girl #2: And are those Bacon Bits?
Office girl #1: Shut up! And no, it’s real bacon!
Office girl #2: And you aren’t gonna eat the lettuce?
Office girl #1: I will stab you with my fork! Go away!

8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina

And Drunk

Coworker: The last time I slept that well at my desk I was two months pregnant.

Durham, North Carolina

Overheard by: BWC

1PM Naptime

Sales assistant: What are you doing?
QC guy: Taking a nap.
Sales assistant: You are precariously close to your CPU.
QC guy: What? What is that, a part of my body?
Sales assistant: Right. Don’t call me when you break that computer again.

8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina

My Mullet Is All Business in the Front.

Mike: What's Linkedin?
Ryan: It's Facebook for professional people.
Mike: Well, I should get on that, because I'm pretty fucking professional!

Wilmington, North Carolina

They Say, ‘Come Talk to Us When the Dead Answer You’

New-Age employee: Yeah, my granddaughter is an Indigo Child. She can talk to the dead. But, if you ask me, her parents really aren’t doing enough with her talent.

1712 Spring Garden Street
Greensboro, North Carolina

Overheard by: Atheist cashier in the wrong line of work

So I Had Plenty Of Time to Hang Up

Receptionist on phone: I recognized her voice before she even said anything.

Charlotte, North Carolina

That's Kind Of the Point Of Our Show, Vanna.

VP: You are just naming random alphabetic letters.

Charlotte, North Carolina

And Apparently There’s Also This Other Thing? Called Panties?

Girl: Omigosh, I learned something today. Did you know that bras have an adjustable strap? Well, the one I’m wearing today was always loose and showing my boobies a little, but then I adjusted the strap, and whoa, let me tell ya, my boobs are like five feet higher in the air, and they are fully covered.

Career Center
Winston-Salem, North Carolina

Overheard by: azn

2PM Long-term Planning

Employee #1: I just don’t understand the point of Martin Luther King Day.
Emoloyee #2: Come on! It’s a big day! It celebrates when Martin Luther King freed the slaves.
Employee #1: That was Abraham Lincoln.
Employee #2: Oh. Well, it celebrates when Martin Luther King gave the Emancipation Proclamation.
Employee #1: That was also Abraham Lincoln.
Employee #2: Oh. I’m not very good at history.

821 Benvenue
Rocky Mount, North Carolina

What Have You Been Doing to Your Nose?

Sales guy: Does anyone else smell hot dogs and sauerkraut?
Sales chick: Ummm… There’s doughnuts in the conference room.
Sales guy: I bet that’s it!

8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina

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