A man holding a child’s hand meets up with a woman holding another child’s hand.
Man and woman, simultaneously: I thought he was with you!
Man, turning to go back inside: I told you this would happen if you let them outnumber us.
Outside Bloomingdale’s, 59th Street
New York, New York
Overheard by: Kim Siddorn
Anchor: As long as it’s not forced sodomy, it’s okay.
524 West 57th Street
New York, NY
Overheard by: News Bunny
Office peon #1: Yo, you watch that Animal Planet?
Office peon #2: Oooh, one time I saw this bird — he use a rock like a hammer! Dropped it on a egg, cracked it open… Gangsta, son! Gangsta!
New York, New York
Guy #1: Give me a break. I’ve been here since 6 AM!
Guy #2: Why would you do that to yourself?
Guy #1: Well, I’ve been a very bad boy, and I deserve a spanking. But that’s too expensive here in the city so instead I do this.
469 7th Avenue
New York, New York
Co-Worker, reading email: Can you believe this shit?! The nerve! “For those over 50, special healthcare benefits.” Over 50! How can they send me this shit and…Oh, there’s a free lunch. [Pause] Well, maybe I’ll go.
Trinity Place
New York, New York
VP: Hi! Nice to see you. I hope we’ll be meeting soon!
Ad agency rep: Yes, like right now? Since that’s why we’re here.
Central Park South
New York, New York
Employee #1: Yeah, it was a great porno. Yeah, she was all up on his taint. The taint. You know the part between the meat and the hole? Yeah, that.
Employee #2, on the phone with customer: (cringe)
Customer on phone: Excuse me…
Employee #2: Umm, yes ma'am?
Customer: Was that man talking about balls?
Pizza Place
Long Island, New York
Battleaxe: You know, pretty soon we’ll start to see refugees from New Orleans at this school…I’d rather that than the Muslims.
695 Park Avenue
New York, NY
Overheard by: Carl Limbacher
Co-worker #1: Man, New Orleans has sure turned into something out of Lord Of The Rings.
Co-worker #2: Don’t you mean Lord Of The Flies?
800 Hennepin Ave S
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Obnoxious sales guy: But your product is my back end!
Times Square
New York City, New York
Coworker #1: My palms are sweaty. What do you think that means?
Coworker #2: It means you’re annoyed.
Coworker #1: Really?
Coworker #2: No, I guess I was just projecting.
330 Madison Avenue
New York, NY
