Guy: That person I just talked to was so nice. He sounded so relaxed, and people from New York never sound like that.
Woman: He’s in Miami.
228 East 45th Street
New York, NY
Guy: That person I just talked to was so nice. He sounded so relaxed, and people from New York never sound like that.
Woman: He’s in Miami.
228 East 45th Street
New York, NY
Male coworker: The first time I shit in school was in eleventh grade. It was during Chemistry, after gym class. It was on that day I became a man. Since then I’ll shit anywhere, basically.
1372 Broadway
New York, New York
Overheard by: ILmatic
Coworker #1: Good morning!
Coworker #2: Did you get the balls?
Coworker #1: What?
Coworker #2: Did you get the balls? The signed balls? Because it’ll be really bad if you didn’t!
55 Water Street
New York, New York
Overheard by: Why do I work here?
Woman: I have never heard such idiotness in my life. I’ve never heard it.
375 Hudson Street
New York, NY
Crazed, frazzled receptionist, yelling: A little Vicodin goes a long way!
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: EMCEE
Bimbette employee: I mean, like, if you gave Thomas Jefferson the Internet, he totally wouldn’t have freed the slaves.
Department store
New Hartford, New York
Overheard by: Jenn
Supervisor: I didn’t just say that to him because he’s gay, I would’ve said the same thing to you.
Worker: Oh yeah? How do you know I’m not gay?
Supervisor: I don’t. Are you?
Worker: Yes.
Supervisor: Okay then, have a nice day…
716 West Genesee Street
Syracuse, New York
PA #1: I have a thing for military sci-fi.
PA #2: I mean, who doesn't?
(later)
PA #1: Predator is a classic. It's like Casablanca.
Manhattan, New York
Dude: Are you looking at pictures of naked women again?
Man: What kind of stupid question is that?
Dude: Yeah, sorry.
Man: Why don’t you ask me what I’m breathing? ‘Breathing some air there, huh? Boy, you sure do like your air.’
Dude: Yeah, I know, sorry. Hey — that one’s pretty.
Man: Tell me about it.
Starbucks
New York, New York
Female co-worker: My uncle just bought a condom in Brooklyn. It’s a real nice place.
Male co-worker: Really?
Female co-worker: Uh huh.
99 Church Street
New York, New York
