Trader: When I go to my doctor’s appointment tomorrow, my doctor is going to wonder why I have two assholes.
Trader: Lance Armstrong has more balls than I do.
Trader: Why don’t I just go to prison? Then I wouldn’t have to pay to get fucked in the ass.
50 Broad Street
New York, NY
First-grade teacher: CHARLES! Give me those! Those are NAILS! Nails are unsafe and do not belong in your hands.
Student: Pshhh, unless you’re JESUS!
New York, New York
Overheard by: i want to adopt this kid
Girl #1: Did you finish with the Christmas card?
Girl #2: We call it holiday card now. Because everyone is not Catholic.
Girl #1: You know it’s not just Catholics that celebrate Christmas; Christians celebrate it too.
Girl #2: Oh they do? I didn’t know because I’m Catholic.
Fifth Avenue
New York City, New York
Overheard by: But Catholics ARE Christians
Nurse #1: It’s more important that we get rid of the dead things in the clinic.
Nurse #2: The smell’s still there?
Nurse #3: Have you tried spraying the air with something?
1230 York Avenue
New York, NY
Overheard by: Molly the Mole
Employee #1, scanning the New York Times online: There was an election party for Ahmadinejad last night.
Employee #2: Oh, did you go?
Manhattan, New York
Coworker #1 (checking out woman who just entered office): Damn, that bitch is ugleeee. Yikes!
Coworker #2: Hey, you jerk! That's my mom!
New York City, New York
Overheard by: agreeing with co-worker #1
Lesbian: Whatever it takes to get her pregnant. Even if I have to participate!
1250 Broadway
New York, New York
Queer peon to coworker: Shut your face or I’ll shit in your throat!
West 38th Street
New York, New York
