Administrator on phone: Yeah, my cat passed away last Sunday. I put him in a paper bag and put it out on the curb for… for trash pick-up… What else could I do? Can’t put him in the back yard. Yeah, I gotta get a new place. I can’t stand the mice anymore.
Department of Education, 65 Court Street
Brooklyn, New York
Overheard by: Emma
Worker bee: Do I smell bacon, or am I just having a really awesome stroke?
175 Remsen Street
Brooklyn, New York
Overheard by: cubicle island
Supervisor: We have a call-out
Boss: Why’s he calling out?
Supervisor: Says his house caught fire.
Boss: Bullshit! Tell him we want a pic of him fighting the fucking fire! Then we’ll authorize the call-out!
731 Lexington Avenue
New York, NY
Overheard by: RedManInc
TA #1: Can you let Mike* know that a student came by for him?
TA #2: Sure, was it a boy or a girl?
TA #1: Uh, he left a note.
Stony Brook, New York
Producer: Rarely does a day go by where my underwear is less than 10 years old.
11 Penn Plaza
New York, NY
Overheard by: D to the C
Coworker #1 on phone: Yes, this is Allie*… [Screams.]Coworker #2: What’s wrong?
Coworker #1: They think my prize steer is loose on the playground.
741 Griffin Road
Albany, New York
Purchasing manager: We’re renegades. We’re running with the wolves. We ordered hot chocolate.
1 Railroad Ave
Cooperstown, New York
Suit: The other way I learned it, from Schoolhouse Rock, is that the alligator is hungry and so wants to bite the larger one.
Woman coworker: Ohhh… I see. That would confuse me, because it’s got animals.
919 3rd Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: i guess graduating elementary school just was
Office girl: Why don't you get a baby? A cute little brown baby?
Gay office worker: I don't want a gay-by!
Office girl: Oh yeah, a cute little chocolate baby!
Gay office worker: I'd eat him! I love chocolate! (pause) Anyway where's my urn?
Manhattan, New York
Office grunt #1: The Internet is down. Email still works, but there’s something wrong with the Internet.
Office grunt #2: So the Internet’s running fine, right?
1 Penn Plaza
New York, New York
Overheard by: I’m gonna go with NO…
