Coworker: I like the chair idea, otherwise I'm afraid someone will get hurt.
Manhattan, New York
Coworker: I like the chair idea, otherwise I'm afraid someone will get hurt.
Manhattan, New York
Female potential juror: I can’t sit on a jury for religious reasons. I don’t believe in judging people.
Lawyer: This is a negligence case. You won’t be deciding if somebody is good or evil. There’s no question of morality involved.
Female potential juror: Whatever — it’s against my religious convictions to judge people.
Lawyer: You understand that we’re not asking you to send someone to Hell — you just have to decide whether or not they were clumsy.
Supreme Court
Schenectady, New York
Overheard by: Big Larry
Employee #1: Okay, we’ll send an intern over, then.
Employee #2 on speaker: That’d be great. Do you have any Asians?
250 Park Ave South
New York, NY
Office dude: Ow! Son of a..!
Office chick: Oh, are you OK?
Office dude: I just banged my penis on the desk.
395 Hudson Street
New York, NY
Worker #1: What kind of M&Ms are those?
Worker #2: Peanut.
Worker #1: Oh god, I won't want those! I don't want nuts in my mouth!
Albany, New York
Nurse: How have your bowel movements been?
Elderly man: Oh, very good, thank you! Would you like to see?
Hospital
New York City, New York
Overheard by: Molly
Attendant: Is the cat male or female?
Animal Cop: Female.
Attendant: So you checked?
Animal Cop: No, I didn’t check the plumbing, if that’s what you mean.
Attendant: So how do you know it’s a female?
Animal Cop: Because the cat was feisty. Kind of like my wife.
326 110th Street
New York, NY
Overheard by: M.L. Liu
Director: I feel like she’s staring into my soul.
Producer: It’s a good feeling, isn’t it?
35 West 4th Street
New York, NY
Overheard by: jen d.
Office secretary: All I'm saying is… They'd better be siamese.
Manhattan, New York
Chick: Nice flowers!
Dude: Yeah, I had a bad day yesterday and treated myself. You ever have one of those?
Chick: Yeah, but I just drink.
1440 Broadway
New York, New York
